 How to Be Nice in Rush Hour Traffic
by Winn Claybaugh
author of Be Nice (Or Else!): And What's In It For You
Road rage is an epidemic that’s sweeping the planet. How did this happen? Yes, it’s crowded out there with billions of people living on Earth, but why is it that when we get into our cars we yell, think, gesture, and react in ways that are so completely opposite of our personality and nature? Without that metal box around us, we don’t act that way in other crowded situations. Why do we do it when we climb into our cars?
The universe sees everything, so you can’t expect to attract and retain loving relationships and supportive friendships if you allow yourself to turn into a monster on the road. You can’t make disgusting gestures to strangers on the highway, and then expect to genuinely and graciously greet a customer with that same extended hand.
Road rage is a bad habit, and habits are meant to be broken. So, set yourself up to be nice in your car. Set yourself up to win. Here’s how:
Drive a clean car. I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. We all feel better about ourselves when we’re driving a clean car, and yet we’ll drive a dirty car for weeks. If you want to be nicer in your car, start by keeping it clean.
Listen to motivational tapes and CDs in your car. Your driving time can be valuable, private learning time for you if you turn your car into a “learning facility.” When else do you have the time to sit down with a great tape or CD without interruption? Turn your commute into private, sacred time for learning how to be nice, even if your commute time is only ten minutes. Ten minutes is enough to get your mind focused for the entire day.
Listen to good music. A lot of talk radio is designed to cause a rise and confrontational stir from its audience. That’s how they get people to listen and call in. If you’re already the type of person who has a challenge keeping harmony and love in your heart for your fellow drivers, listening to talk radio can be like squeezing lemon juice into a wound. When you’re surrounded by “a bunch of idiots who will never drive as well as you do,” why would you want to listen to talk radio, whose job it is to validate your belief that “people are idiots”? Turn off that radio! If motivational tapes and CDs aren’t your style, then choose music that inspires you, calms you, soothes you, and makes you happy.
Drive different routes every once in a while, just to break up the monotony. If your drive to and from work turns into a discovery, rather than a rut and a routine, your emotions will not go south.
Place a photograph of your kids, your spouse, or your partner next to the steering wheel. Imagine how much road rage could be eliminated if drivers were seeing the face of a loved one while spewing their toxic insults to fellow drivers.
Find fun and interesting ways to be nice to your fellow drivers. Several years ago, my friend Debra had just moved to the San Francisco Bay area. One day, as she went to pay the toll for the Bay Bridge, she received a pleasant surprise—the truck driver ahead of her had paid the toll for her. Touched by the unconditional generosity of this total stranger, Debra decided to adopt his behavior as her own. Ever since that day, every time she crosses the bridge, she pays the toll for the person behind her. She does it even when she has no spare change, and she does it because it “felt good” when someone did it for her. Road rage? Not in Debra’s car.
Winn Claybaugh is the author of Be Nice (Or Else!) and “one of the best motivational speakers in the country,” according to CNN’s Larry King. A business owner for 22 years with over 8,000 people in his organization, Winn is the co-owner of hair care giant Paul Mitchell’s school division. Contact Winn at 1.800.459.4007, or visit www.BeNiceOrElse.com to sign up for his free monthly Be Nice (Or Else!) newsletter.
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