 No Regrets
by Winn Claybaugh
author of Be Nice (Or Else!) And What's In It For You
This has become a sort of mantra for me—No Regrets. Your life’s body of work is about collecting beliefs and emotions. A life full of regret is certainly not what you desire, so why not make the proclamation: No Regrets.
Like many, there was a time when I found myself clocking birthdays with more and more regrets. I regretted not having a good relationship with my father. I regretted my bitterness over pieces of my childhood. I regretted not taking advantage of certain opportunities. Too many regrets. Regrets are like old baggage; they weigh us down. Why not set yourself up and live your life so as not to have any regrets when it comes to your relationships with family members?
For many years, I was angry with my dad because he didn’t accept me for who I was. I complained to a friend about this, but my friend challenged me by saying, “You don’t accept your father for who he is.”
My response was, “Huh?”
My friend continued, “You feel cheated and denied by your father for not embracing your lifestyle, but you haven’t embraced his lifestyle and beliefs.”
“But he’s the parent, and I’m the child,” I defended. “He’s supposed to accept and validate me.”
My friend diligently reminded me of my beliefs, such as Only what you aren’t giving could be lacking in any situation, and that my father has a little boy inside of him who’s always looking for love, acceptance, and validation—just like me.
My friend was right. I was the one who was not accepting my father for who he is. The minute I did—the minute I entered his world and became interested in what he was interested in—all of a sudden two things happened. First, it seemed as though my father became more interested in me. Second, I no longer felt the desperation of needing my father’s acceptance. I grew up, let go of the unfair expectations, and felt as though I could approach each day with no regrets.
In the past several years, my father has struggled with a number of health issues. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that he and I figured our stuff out years ago, before his health issues began. If my father were to be taken from me tomorrow, I can honestly and thankfully say that I would have no regrets.
Lifetime relationships pose ups and downs, loving and fighting. So how do you sleep at night with the thought that if a loved one were to be taken from you, you would have no regrets? Sometimes there’s no sense to the drama and conflict in family relationships. Sometimes the only thing that makes sense is to respond with, “You’re my father, and I love you. That’s all that matters.”
Winn Claybaugh is the author of BE NICE (OR ELSE!), with foreword by CNN's Larry King! He has been in the beauty industry since 1983, and is the founder of Paul Mitchell The School, with several locations throughout the U.S. In 2004, the North American Hairdressing Awards (NAHA) recognized Winn's contributions by awarding him the Hall of Leaders Award. Winn has been a speaker and educator for many years. He is the National Motivational Expert for Paul Mitchell, and has worked with thousands of businesses, including companies such as Vidal Sassoon, the Irvine Company, Entertainment Tonight, Mattel, For Rent magazine, Structure/Limited Express and others. In its November 1997 "Super Heroes" section, American Salon magazine called Winn a "mover of mountains" and "Mr. Fix-it." Winn has also served as vice president of the AIDS Relief Fund for Beauty Professionals, and continues to pursue many fundraising projects.
For speaking engagements, or to order Winn's book BE NICE (OR ELSE!), call 1-800-459-4007, or visit www.BeNiceOrElse.com
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