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Going from Ordinary to Extraordinary
Hi Everyone,
 If you’ve read my book or heard me speak, you know I believe that all organizations, companies, businesses, stores, individuals, and family units must consciously and actively adopt and promote the beliefs and practices of being nice. That means making relationships your top priority and practicing and promoting kindness, giving back, fun, harmony, and of course, love, which requires doing loving things for yourself and others. Businesses and organizations with a BE NICE philosophy will see increased morale and loyalty, improved customer service, and increased profits. Families and individuals will strengthen their relationships, reduce stress and friction, and set a great example.
Can you imagine a company or a family unit with a motto of “BE MEAN”? Of course not. But if you’re not consciously and actively choosing and pursuing BE NICE, then you’re choosing BE MEAN. Some time ago, a good friend of mine who’s also a successful attorney planned a dinner party at her home for a large group of friends and associates. As she made arrangements with business after business for the catering, flowers, live music, and more, some of her experiences were pleasurable and some were not. The painstaking process of ordering engraved invitations was a wonderful and fun experience, whereas a bakery employee’s “How dare you interrupt my day?” attitude made the simple process of ordering gourmet desserts a horrible experience. With which company do you think my friend continued doing business?
This month’s newsletter offers an inside view of how a BE NICE culture looks, feels, and acts. Several inspiring stories and our special audio message will encourage you to make the leap from ordinary to extraordinary. Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we’re also focusing on that important cause. The National Cancer Institute anticipates 194,280 new cases of breast cancer in the United States in 2009 (192,370 women, 1,910 men), and approximately 40,610 deaths from the disease (40,170 women, 440 men).
Many of my mentors have been women. In fact, I dedicated my book to my grandma, my mom, and my two sisters—the nicest people I know. In honor and in loving support for women everywhere, let’s all be aware of what this month is about.
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice.
XOXO, Winn
A BE NICE Story
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to stories@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
This letter comes from a recent beauty school graduate. If she’s delivering this level of service so early in her career, she’s sure to become extraordinary in no time at all!
 Dear Winn,
Can I tell you a story? I had a private bridal makeup client. I arrived early at the church and we had a wonderful visit and makeup application. Seemed rather normal. Like most brides, this one started getting nervous as the ceremony approached. It is my practice to stay and do touchups until the ceremony and all pictures are finished. I asked the bride to sit, removed her shoes, and gave her a reflexology foot and leg massage for about 20 minutes. She began to relax and laugh.
When I left, I found that they had given me a $75 tip. That was nice but the next day the real moment happened. The bride’s mom called to thank me. I had not known that the bride was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and they were worried about how her feet and legs would handle a day on her feet. The mom, in near tears, told me that not only did her legs hold up but she didn’t hurt at all that day. Wow!
I had been taught at school to really care for guests: not just to complete a ticket, but to make it an experience for them. What I thought was just something nice and normal to do changed this bride’s day.
Marjorie Cooley
Michigan
BE NICE News
Make Some Good News with Free Hugs Day
 With so much negative news every day, wouldn’t it be great to give the media something positive to talk about? Here’s a win-win idea that any group can implement: Hold a Free Hugs Day! Inspired by a popular YouTube video, groups all over the world are taking to the streets and offering free hugs to make someone’s day. Follow these simple guidelines and you, too, can make news—and a difference—in your community.
Before the event:
- Identify a “creative master” to coordinate your event.
- Choose a well-populated location such as a mall, park, main street, financial district, or shopping area, preferably in walking distance from your organization. If you’re doing it at night, be sure to choose a safe, well-lit location.
- Obtain all necessary permissions and permits from the location and/or local government agencies. Make sure you don’t violate any rules or laws.
- Make posters and plenty of announcements within your organization.
- Send press releases to ALL of your local media (including radio, TV, and print outlets). Many Free Hugs events have made front page news.
- Provide copies of the press release to the host location (the mall, park, etc.).
- Have your team make “Free Hugs” signs to bring along.
On the day of the event:
- Gather everyone together 45 minutes before you’re scheduled to leave for your event.
- Show the music video from Sick Puppies containing Juan Mann’s Free Hugs campaign (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4).
- Get your team excited, coached, and ready to go before you hit the street.
- Arrive at your location a few minutes ahead of time, since media may be there to cover your event. Stay for 30 minutes to 1 hour.
- Take pictures and videos. Have your own photographers on hand to capture the experience.
Organization Donates Over $30,000 to
Breast Cancer Nonprofits
 Raising money and awareness for a serious issue doesn’t have to be serious. Save 2nd Base (www.save2ndbase.com), founded in honor of 43-year-old Kelly Rooney who lost her life to breast cancer, sells fun T-shirts and donates half the profits to the Kelly Rooney Foundation. Their motto is, “Breast cancer is no laughing matter but we can fight it with humor.”
The shirts were designed and originally worn by Kelly’s sister and friend during the 2005 Breast Cancer Philadelphia 3-Day Walk. The two women received such an enthusiastic response from their fellow walkers that they decided to make more shirts for others to enjoy. Since then, Save 2nd Base’s shirts have been sold in all 50 U.S. states and Australia and distributed to troops overseas, and Save 2nd Base has donated more than $30,000 to the Kelly Rooney Foundation and other breast cancer nonprofits.
Monthly Audio Message
Mark Eaton
 Tens of thousands of people have had their lives transformed by hearing Mark Eaton’s astounding story of triumph and record-breaking success. A business and motivational speaker, Mark tells organizations and audiences nationwide how he went from a seven-foot-four, 21-year-old mechanic who couldn’t play basketball to a 12-year career as an NBA All Star with the Utah Jazz.
In Mark’s high-energy, action-packed presentations he explains the philosophy, principles, and techniques that took him to the top, winning again and again and making NBA history. He reveals the secrets that skyrocketed him to fame as the two-time Defensive Player of the Year, enabled him to break the NBA record for the most blocked shots in a single season, and landed him a spot on the 1989 All Star team.
After his career with the Jazz, Mark went on to success after success in the competitive world of business. From 1994 to 2005 he was the chairman of the Mark Eaton Standing Tall for Youth Organization, which provided sports and outdoor opportunities to more than 3,000 at-risk children. For eight seasons he hosted Jazz Tonight on KJZZ-TV, Mark Eaton Outdoors, and SportsHealth Today, an internationally syndicated radio show. He owns two award-winning restaurants and has produced two CD sets: 10 Ways to Stand Tall and Play Big and Playing in the Big Leagues, where he shows how to keep your eye on the prize, ignite change, and keep on winning. He is currently writing a book about the extraordinary power of mentoring in sports and business.
LISTEN IN as Mark describes his incredible journey from benchwarmer to superstar. Interviewed by SoulSalt, Inc. founder Lyn Christian (www.soulsalt.com), Mark shares the five questions that can lead anyone to professional success.
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, CLICK HERE to join the thousands of subscribers all over the world and receive MASTERS Audio Club for just $12.95 each month.
People Profile
David Wagner
David Wagner, author of My Life as a Daymaker, recently underwent his sixth (and hopefully final) round of chemotherapy to treat his lymphoma. Before starting treatment in April 2009, David had lost 35 pounds and was confined to a wheelchair with tumors in his hips, low back, and shoulders. He has regained 20 pounds, walks three miles a day, and exercises regularly.
“I have experienced so many Daymakers in my life these last few months,” David writes. “The nurses in particular who give me chemo treatments have been amazing. They administer the chemo protocols every day of their work lives but they make me feel very special and taken care of every three weeks that I go in. . . . The same can be said of my doctor who sees so many people going through the same journey as I am. He, too, has had cancer and understands from a real perspective what I’m going through.
“Other Daymakers have been friends and family in my life, from helping to garden so I have fresh herbs and vegetables in my diet to those who have cooked food and brought it to our house. Charlie, my wife, has been amazing at making sure I have the most nutritious diet for my recovery. It takes time and care to prepare whole, nutritious, and healthy meals but she does it with joy and love and I am grateful for her passion for food.
“Strangers have also made my day,” David says. “I am now bald because of the chemo, and the response to my bald head and no eyebrows has a funny effect on people. . . . I was in the grocery store the other day and a woman came up to me and said, ‘You look very handsome with such a great head shape!’ She went on to tell me that when she lost her hair, she felt so ugly that she rarely left the house and had trouble finding a decent wig that fit or looked real.”
On a recent trip to the hardware store, David wore a mask to avoid dust and fumes. “The salespeople were so kind to help me and not treat me like I had some contagious disease,” he says. “I have been walking down the street and gotten thumbs up from strangers driving by as if to say, ‘Good luck in your journey.’ It all makes a difference in my day!”
Visit www.daymakermovement.com for more information about David Wagner and his Daymaker movement.
Corporate Corner
Inspect, Not Expect
To take an organization from ordinary to extraordinary requires three key ingredients: complete and total focus, devotion to the culture’s systems, and frequent inspecting of the community.
Too many times, leaders confuse the words expect and inspect. What you expect isn’t nearly as valuable as what you inspect. Don’t assume or expect that people are doing their jobs—inspect to know for sure. Accountability is crucial in a successful organization. People need to hold themselves and each other accountable to a standard of excellence.
In a BE NICE culture, the spirit in which you hold people accountable must be one of love, support, and growth. What does that feel like? Peers and leaders “check” their people, looking for the things they’re doing right and helping them to improve areas in which they fall short. In other words, BE NICE leaders are coaches, not authoritarian bosses.
In consulting with a business owner a few years back, I inquired as to how he spent his day. He told me that he was in his office in the back, doing paperwork most of the time. When I asked how much time he spent with his people to coach, encourage, and redirect them as they service customers all day, he said, “Oh, they can come back to my office and speak with me if they ever have a problem.” With that I replied, “So, the only time you spend with your people is when they have a problem? Your people could be having amazing victories every day, and you’re never a part of that experience to congratulate them or help them feel good about their investment in your customers and your company.”
In their book, In Search of Excellence, Tom Peters and Robert Waterman popularized a concept known as MBWA. Developed in the 1970s by Hewlett-Packard, MBWA stands for Management By Wandering Around, and it’s part of the legendary “HP Way.” While some business leaders and managers claim that they don’t have time to wander around because they’re too busy doing paperwork, HP’s managers would probably respond: “How do you find all that time to do paperwork? We’re too busy wandering around!”
Bottom line: To take your team from ordinary to extraordinary, you must show up and be present, involved, approachable, and nice. You must also inspect, not just expect, to achieve the results you want.
CLICK HERE to check out this cool video and see how Winn spends his day!
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CLICK HERE for a downloadable Visionary Leadership poster to hang in your business, company, or organization. Remember, you don’t have to be the boss to assume the responsibility for creating visionary leadership.
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Do Something!
5 Lessons to Make You Think About How
We Treat People
 These five stories will definitely help you look at whether you’re being ordinary or extraordinary in the way you treat other people. (They circulated widely through the Internet, and the author is unknown. The stories were shortened for this newsletter.)
- Cleaning lady. The last question on a college quiz asked: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” One student asked if the question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant and deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘hello.’” I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
- Pickup in the rain. Late one stormy night, an older African American woman’s car broke down and she desperately needed a ride. A young white man helped her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled ‘60s. She wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days later, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home with this note: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. . . . Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away. . . . Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.”
- Always remember those who serve. A 10-year-old boy entered a coffee shop and sat at a table. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. Carefully counting his money, he asked, “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” “Thirty-five cents,” the waitress replied impatiently. The boy ordered and ate the plain ice cream, paid the cashier, and left. As the waitress wiped down the table, she began to cry. There, placed beside his empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. He hadn’t ordered the sundae because he wanted to leave her a tip.
- The obstacle in our path. In ancient times, a king placed a boulder on a roadway, then hid and watched to see if anyone would remove it. Wealthy merchants and courtiers walked around it. Many blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear. Then a peasant came along and strained mightily to remove the boulder. In its place, he found a purse containing many gold coins and a note from the king saying that the gold was for whoever removed the boulder. The peasant learned what many never understand: Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
- Giving when it counts. A little girl suffered from a serious disease. Her only chance appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother. The doctor explained the situation and asked the little boy if he would give his blood to his sister. After a moment’s hesitation the boy said, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he smiled, seeing the color return to her cheeks. Then his smile faded and he asked, “Will I start to die right away?” Being young, he thought he had to give his sister all of his blood to save her.
Quotes of the Month
“One of the most effective means for transcending ordinary and moving into the realm of extraordinary is saying yes more frequently and eliminating no almost completely. I call it saying yes to life. Say yes to yourself, to your family, your children, your coworkers, and your business.”
– Wayne Dyer
“Many people’s tombstones should read ‘Died at 30. Buried at 60.’”
– Nicholas Murray Butler
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2009 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink
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