| May 1, 2005 In this issue... A BE NICE Story Monthly Audio Message People Profile Corporate Corner Do Something! Quote of the Month And on BeNiceOrElse.com: Featured Article Build an Extended Family Past Newsletters April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 Send this newsletter to everyone you know or mean people will track you down! Listen to Finalist — "A famous swami once told me years ago that someone who’s nice always gains... Winn Claybaugh is a remarkable guy and one of the best motivational speakers in the country. In this terrific work, he brings you easy-to-use concepts that could bring interesting rewards." |
FAMILY IS FOREVER Hi Everyone,Before there were therapists, support groups, and career counselors, there were moms, dads, brothers, sisters, and grandparents. Family is the only connection we have to our heritage. We can end a friendship or a partnership and replace it with a new one, but we can’t replace our heritage. Our families know us like no one else does. They’re part of our history, they raised us, and that relationship never ends. We choose our friends based on similarities, but we don’t have the luxury of choosing our family. We can interview people to fill a vacant position at work, but we can’t interview to fill our mother’s role. Family is what we’re given. And just as we must make the most out of all the other things life gives us—our looks, our personality, our life experiences—we must make the most out of the family we’ve received. In this month’s newsletter, you’ll read about the powerful impact a family can have, and you’ll learn a great way to record your family memories and important milestones. As always, thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice! XOXO, Winn A BE NICE Story I love it that my book is getting into the hands of young children and being used as a parenting tool. I was honored that ForeWord magazine chose it as finalist in the Parenting category of their 2004 Book of the Year Awards, so this letter from Audra about her son really makes me smile.  Dear Winn,I have a 14-year-old son. He is really a great kid but, as we all know, 14-year-old boys can be masters at being mean on occasion. One day, when he was being quite unkind to his little brother, I gave him a copy of Be Nice (Or Else!). I told him he needed to learn to be nice even when people irritate him, and maybe this would help him get started. The other day, he commented that he really liked what he’s read so far. I hadn’t asked him whether he’d read the book; he volunteered that information. He said he’d only read about 40 pages but that it really made sense and he planned to keep reading. Quite frankly, I was amazed that he started reading anything that wasn’t forced upon him. I don't know yet if he will choose to use the information in the book, but he is reading it and obviously thinking about it. If nothing else, he and I have something in common to discuss! Thank you, Audra Turner Monthly Audio Message  As a young boy in rural North Carolina, Joe Dudley was labeled mentally retarded. His mother told him, “Son, I know you’re slow. The teachers know you’re slow. That’s all right. I believe slow people rule the world, if they only have patience, because when a slow one gets it, they got it.” It wasn’t until his girlfriend told him that she would not marry him because she didn’t want to have “stupid children” that he finally decided to get an education. Inspired by her rejection, and encouraged by his mother’s words, Joe studied his sister’s school books one by one, starting with the first grade and eventually earning his high school diploma. He went on to earn a PhD, has met with three sitting presidents, including Nelson Mandela, and is one of the world's largest manufacturers and distributors of hair care and beauty products. Today Joe Dudley Sr. is known nationally and internationally as an inspirational speaker and humanitarian who spends much of his time identifying needs and giving back to the community and mankind. He has been the recipient of numerous awards and two honorary doctorate degrees. Over the past 30 years, through dedication, hard work, and persistence, he has indeed become the role model his mother always knew he could be. Listen to Joe’s inspiring story and the wisdom he shares with his family and employees. If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, you’ll love our MASTERS Audio Club. Follow this link for more information. People Profile  Some people seem to have the attitude that some individuals were born to serve and others were born to be served, and therefore they have a “lesser than” attitude about certain people. When it comes to “family,” I think we need to look beyond the members of the family we were born into—we need to build extended families. The same cleaning lady, Angelina, has come to my house each week for eight years. She’s responsible, caring, funny, inquisitive—and she’s family. Please read this month’s featured article to learn why Angelina, her daughters, and her grandchildren are family to me, and why building extended families can bring more value and purpose to your life. Corporate Corner At one of my business locations, we have a catchall storage room commonly referred to as “the dungeon.” Anything and everything can end up in the dungeon, and venturing into that room is often preceded with the announcement, “Cover me, I’m going in!” One of our team members is a clean freak and very task-oriented. On occasion, when he was feeling extra eager, he’d attack the dungeon with a vengeance and would resurface hours later, proclaiming it clean and organized. Unfortunately, in the process of “civilizing” the dungeon, he’d exterminate relationships with his fellow workers. He’d accuse this co-worker of making the mess, annoy another person with the “drama” of cleaning, and belittle another co-worker for not offering to pitch in. Eventually, he’d come to me with the proud announcement, “Look! The dungeon is clean,” and I’d respond, “Yeah, but you left ten people in your wake. Now, please go back and clean up your relationships.” No matter the size of your company, no matter the product or service you provide, all companies are made up of human beings who work there and who sometimes spend more hours with each other than they spend with their own families. Of course you have a job to perform and tasks to execute every single day. However—and here’s where businesses often go blind—to every task that must be performed, a human being is attached. I would like to propose that your relationship with those human beings is far more important than getting the task accomplished. Follow this link to read Winn’s article about cultivating successful relationships at work by incorporating The Golden Rules. Do Something! Write a Gratitude Letter Since family relationships last a lifetime, that certainly gives people years and years of opportunity to see and experience both the best and worst of each other. Anyone can be charming for a season, but a lifetime is tough. To stay charming over the long haul, I believe it helps to look for gifts and benchmarks in life. A gift is an experience—either personal or not—that causes you to reflect on what’s important. Gifts become benchmarks when they represent turning points of growth and change. One way to turn experiences into benchmarks is through letter writing or journaling. By writing it all down, it’s almost as if you’ve proclaimed, “This event will not be in vain!” There’s something quite profound and empowering about sitting down and making a list or writing a story about what’s right in your life. Your gratitude letter can begin with a mention of the most obvious things you’re grateful for, such as family and friends. You could write about the gifts of your heart, mind, and soul. You could express gratitude for worldly possessions, such as your car, your home, or a cookie jar given to you by your grandmother. Although it can be very powerful and self-actualizing to write your gratitude letter and file it away in a journal for your eyes only, I’ve always chosen to mail copies of my letters to friends and family, and even to casual acquaintances. Some years I mail out 10 copies of my gratitude letter, and other years I’ve mailed out over 100. What are you grateful for in your life? What events do you want to remember? What gifts would you like to memorialize as benchmarks? Write your gratitude letter, and acknowledge the experience and lessons you’ve been given in life. Quote of the Month “We are born into them, marry into them, even create them among the people we love. They come large and extended . . . or small and nuclear. But whatever their size or wherever they live, strong families give us the nurturance and strength we need in order to survive.” —Andrea Davis, 20th century American author
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter! |
