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Values & Behaviors
Hi Everyone,
 If you’re like most people, you probably made some New Year’s resolutions and identified some areas you’d like to improve. More than likely, your resolutions are based on your values.
Getting clear about what you value gives you the opportunity to align your behavior with those values. When your behavior and values are not aligned, your self-esteem is battered and your confidence diminishes. For example, if you value health and wellness but eat a bad diet, smoke and drink heavily, and never exercise, your self-esteem gradually fades away. If you say you value knowledge and growth but never seek out seminars, enroll in college courses, or read books, your sense of worth disappears. If you say you value relationships at work but refuse to attend staff meetings, retreats, and activities, your confidence vanishes like a thief in the night.
For many years, I would have said that it was one of my core values to have a great relationship with my mom and dad, yet in my busy, all-important schedule, my time with them often got pushed down the list of priorities. It was easy to justify because we live in different states, but to tell you the truth, I wasn’t even picking up the phone to call them as often as I could have. When I finally took a good look at what I value, especially the relationship with my parents, it was time to adjust my behavior and my schedule and make that commitment. Now I call them every day. I’ve also looked at my calendar for the upcoming year and, before scheduling any important meetings, events, or vacations, I scheduled my frequent visits to Mom and Dad’s.
As I left my parents’ house last week, thinking about how great it was to be with them, I started wondering about people whose parents have passed on. I’m looking forward to a two-week vacation to Italy this year, but I bet that someone whose parents have passed on would gladly trade all the vacations in the world and every penny they cost for one more week with their parents. Vacations will always be there, but our parents won’t.
It’s so important to align your behaviors with your values. If you value your relationship with your parents, spend time with them. And if you value and want to create a BE NICE lifestyle in other areas of your life, keep reading because this month’s newsletter has plenty of ideas.
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice!
XOXO, Winn
A BE NICE Story
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to stories@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
 Dear Winn,
My husband works at a nonprofit coffee shop and I’m in school full-time, so we aren’t exactly rolling in dough. We are both givers by nature, so it was hard to limit our Christmas giving to practical things like sweaters and hats, but we knew bills had to be paid. We told each other we’ve been blessed to have all of our needs met and that next year we can give each other more.
One day, a local pastor came into the coffee shop. When my husband saw his Kindle, he asked to take a look. “I know my wife would love a Kindle for Christmas,” he said, “but I really want to get her jewelry and I can’t afford both. Which should I get her?”
The pastor answered, “If you know she really wants the Kindle, you should get her the Kindle. Plus, you’ll be giving her the gift of knowledge and that’s a lot more valuable than jewelry.”
A day later, the pastor returned to the coffee shop, handed my husband a bag, and said, “This is for your wife. Tell her it’s from Jesus. Get her some jewelry,” and walked out. On Christmas morning, I opened a gift labeled, “To Jess from a Christian brother,” and found a Kindle from someone who doesn’t even know me! I couldn’t help but cry and thank God for such a sweet man who practices being nice every day.
P.S. Your chapter on family got me through the holidays. I was literally rereading it on my bed before my family came on Christmas Eve. You are so right!
– Jess Hartman
Wilmington, Delaware
Dear Winn,
I have had a lot of hills to climb but getting there has been amazing. I had breast cancer in 2004 and had a blended family consisting of three children and two stepchildren, ages 8 to 15. I was very ill and scared at times, for my mother died of breast cancer when I was 4 years old. My children were also scared and I was their firm foundation. I went through a mastectomy, 3 months of chemo, and losing my hair. Two years later my husband asked for a divorce. I am now a 6-year survivor, recently turned the BIG 50, still single and content, and I pay it forward all the time. My glass is always half full and I share it with everyone. With two kids in college, I’m working two jobs to make ends meet.
I could use all of my challenges to moan and bring me down, but instead I have used it all to bring strength and courage to my children, my workplace, and others. I encourage my children to volunteer, pay it forward, and always think more of others than themselves. I feel more alive and rich when I volunteer at my church, reach out to others, or be there for some other cancer patient. It’s all about each of us helping someone else climb that hill and celebrating together when we reach the top. Remember, “We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.”
– Kathleen Garden
Shelby Township, Michigan
BE NICE News
Six Superstar Celebrities Join Paul Mitchell Schools’ 2011 Fundraising Campaign
 For the eighth consecutive year, the nationwide network of Paul Mitchell beauty schools will spend the months of February through April raising money for charitable organizations. In 2010, the schools raised an all-time high of $1.2 million, bringing their seven-year total to over $4.6 million.
This year they plan to raise $1.5 million for seven organizations: Leeza Gibbons Memory Foundation, Children’s Miracle Network Hospitals, Andrew Gomez Dream Foundation, Food 4 Africa, Fran Drescher’s Cancer Schmancer Foundation, and newcomers Morris Animal Foundation, represented by Betty White, and Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library.
“We’re so excited to welcome Betty White and Dolly Parton this year, and we’re thrilled to welcome Leeza Gibbons, Donny and Marie Osmond, and Fran Drescher back again,” said Paul Mitchell Schools Dean and Cofounder Winn Claybaugh. “All of these incredible superstar celebrities will play an active role in motivating and encouraging our 13,500 future professionals as they take part in thousands of grassroots ‘FUNraisers,’ from cut-a-thons and car washes to fashion shows and charity balls. They’ve also joined an elite group of wonderful celebrities who’ve supported us in the past, including Larry King and Vidal Sassoon.”
Paul Mitchell Schools proudly report that the cost incurred in raising the $4.6 million has been just $68,462—an amazingly low 1.5%, especially compared to the national average of 25%. “At our Paul Mitchell Schools’ family, we are very proud of our commitment to raising money and awareness for a variety of causes and organizations,” Winn Claybaugh says. “We do not spend $300,000 to raise $1 million. Last year, our Paul Mitchell future professionals raised $1.2 million, and we gave $1.2 million to our beneficiaries.”
In this video message about the FUNraising campaign, Betty White has some special fun with Winn. Click here to view.
 Paul Mitchell Schools have committed to raising $100,000 for Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, which gives books to children. Click here for a special message from Dolly.
Visit the new Paul Mitchell Schools FUNraising Web site at www.PaulMitchellSchoolsFUNraising.org for more information.
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An Important Message
Winn Claybaugh and Paul Mitchell Chairman and CEO John Paul DeJoria speak out against bullying. Click here to view.
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MASTERS Audio Club Now Available as
Downloadable MP3s
 For the first time, MASTERS Audio Club, the monthly audio program featuring interviews, success secrets, and business-building presentations by the absolute best leaders in and out of the beauty industry, is now available in MP3 format.
Winn Claybaugh, founder and host of MASTERS Audio Club says, “Our subscribers asked us to go digital so they can download and listen to MASTERS on their iPods and other digital audio players. I’m thrilled to announce that subscribers can now choose between CDs and our new digital format, and they can download many of our archived interviews as well.”
According to a 2010 report from the Pew Research Center, nearly half of the American adults surveyed (47%) own an MP3 player. By recognizing the growing trend and meeting their customers’ demand, MASTERS leads the way in becoming a tech-savvy member of the beauty industry.
“We’re also very proud to be going green,” Claybaugh says. “I take very seriously my responsibility to be a steward of this planet, and going digital with MASTERS is another great way to help eliminate non-reusable materials and packaging. In the current economy, I’m also happy that we can help people save money.” The MASTERS MP3s sell for $9.95, compared to $12.95 for the CDs, and interviews can be purchased individually or as an ongoing monthly subscription.
Winn has interviewed over 325 icons for MASTERS to date, including beauty industry luminaries like Vidal Sassoon, Yosh Toya, Sam Brocato, Robert Lobetta, Trevor Sorbie, Vivienne Mackinder, Robert Cromeans, David Wagner, James Morrison, and many other NAHA winners, salon owners and stylists, makeup artists, and estheticians. The MASTERS archives also include leading experts in health, fitness, business, networking, and relationships.
All of the 2009 and 2010 MASTERS are now available as MP3s, including new interviews with Paul Mitchell Co-owner Angus Mitchell, NAHA winners Ruth Roche and Chris Sorbie, Olympic gold medalist Peter Vidmar, fitness expert Chalene (“Turbo Jam”) Johnson, Biggest Loser chef Devin Alexander, and other leaders in and out of the beauty industry.
For more information, visit www.mastersaudioclub.com.
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Monthly Audio Message
 Marek and Darlene Ann Helstrom founded Purpose Centered Coaching and Training to help families, individuals, and organizations become more productive in their efforts, goals, and visions. Because Marek and Darlene Ann believe that “emotions drive people and people drive performance,” they focus on helping people integrate their thinking and feeling to make wiser choices.
The Helstroms have worked with numerous businesses and organizations in the private, public, and nonprofit sectors, including Devon Energy (one of the world’s leading independent oil and gas producers), the California Department of Water Resources, Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) of Kern County, the Cao Institute of Aesthetics – A Paul Mitchell Partner School, the Pasadena City College athletic department and football team, the U.S. Marines and Navy Chaplain Corps, and the Los Angeles Angels developmental league players. Marek and Darlene Ann have also contributed articles to Pasadena foothills’ luxury lifestyles The Magazine, been interviewed and featured in various California newspapers, and spoken on numerous radio talk shows.
The couple’s goal of bringing about positive change is grounded in the fact that change is hard work, requiring introspection and a deep commitment to personal and organizational growth—and the idea that the work rests on each individual’s shoulders.
CLICK HERE to listen in as Winn Claybaugh interviews Marek and Darlene Ann Helstrom about their insightful ideas for turning any organization into a coaching community, helping people feel safe to make and learn from their mistakes, and focusing on relationships that set the foundation for teaching.
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, CLICK HERE to join the thousands of subscribers all over the world and receive MASTERS Audio Club, now available in CD and MP3!
People Profile
Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant
 During his 25 years as University of Alabama head football coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant amassed six national championships and thirteen conference championships. Upon his retirement in 1982, he held the record for most wins as head coach in collegiate football history.
Bryant is said to have told the following story at a TD Club meeting many years before his death. Unfortunately, the author is unknown, but the story is worth repeating. We’ve shortened it, but you can view the unedited story at http://www.redelephants.com/CoachBearBryant.html.
Bryant had just been named head coach at the University of Alabama and was in the southern part of the state, recruiting a prospect. Having trouble finding the place and getting hungry, he stopped at a small restaurant. A large older man in a T-shirt and cap came over to take his order. The man said, “You probably won’t like it here. Today we’re having chitlins, collard greens, and black-eyed peas with cornbread. I’ll bet you don’t even know what chitlins are, do you?” Bryant looked him square in the eye and said, “I’m from Arkansas. I’ve probably eaten a mile of them. Sounds like I’m in the right place.” The other customers smiled as the man walked away.
Returning with the food, the older man asked, “You ain’t from around here then?” Bryant explained who he was and why he was there, and the man gave him directions to the local high school. As Bryant prepared to leave, the older man asked for a photograph or something he could hang up to show Bear had been there. “I was so new that I didn’t have any yet,” Bryant says, “but I took a napkin and wrote his name and address on it and told him I’d get him one. I met the kid I was lookin’ for later that afternoon and I don’t remember his name but do remember I didn’t think much of him when I met him. I had wasted a day, or so I thought.”
The next day, Bryant found a picture of himself and wrote on it, “Thanks for the best lunch I’ve ever had, Paul Bear Bryant.”
Years later, Bryant was back down in that part of the country, scouting an offensive lineman who, unfortunately, had his heart set on going to a different school. Two days later, the young man called to say he’d changed his mind. He said, “When my grandpa found out that I had a chance to play for you and said no, he pitched a fit and told me I wasn’t going nowhere but Alabama, and wasn’t playing for nobody but you. He thinks a lot of you and has ever since y’all met.”
You guessed it: the young man’s grandfather was the restaurant owner. “That picture’s his pride and joy and he still tells everybody about the day that Bear Bryant came in and had chitlins with him. My grandpa said that when you left there, he never expected you to remember him or to send him that picture, but you kept your word to him and to Grandpa, that’s everything. He said you could teach me more than football and I had to play for a man like you.”
From that day on, Bryant made sure his assistants knew this story, telling them, “If you remember anything else from me, remember this: It really doesn’t cost anything to be nice, and the rewards can be unimaginable.”
Corporate Corner
Values and Behaviors of a BE NICE Community
 Whenever it starts to feel like a community is lazy or lacking the commitment necessary to cultivate and promote a healthy environment, people are tempted to come up with a whole new idea or system to solve the problem. If you discover areas in which your company is not working, it might be because your behaviors aren’t aligned with your values.
I can’t count the number of times that a staff meeting or training has begun with a line of questioning like this: “Do you all value successful relationships? Do you all value fun and harmony? Do you all value teamwork?” Obviously the response would be, “Of course we value those things.” But all too often, the organization is not practicing the behaviors that support those values.
If you value and want to create a BE NICE community in your organization, try incorporating these three behaviors.
- Recognize and support the whole person: Remember how we were taught to divide our lives into separate areas (personal, physical, relationships, etc.)? That never made much sense to me. What does make sense is to take your entire, complex, beautiful self with you everywhere you go, even to work, and to create a culture that allows and encourages every employee to do the same.
- Build successful relationships: All companies are made up of human beings who sometimes spend more hours with coworkers than with their own families. Of course you have a job to perform and tasks to execute every single day. However, human beings are attached to those tasks, and your relationship with those people is far more important than getting the task accomplished.
- Practice customer-focused leadership: Happy customers come from happy employees. Happy employees come from happy managers. Happy managers come from happy owners. And happy owners must be nice!
You’ll find lots more tips for creating a BE NICE workplace in Be Nice (Or Else!).
Do Something
Fix a Broken Relationship
 When it comes to relationships, it’s messy out there. There was a point in time when my relationship with a very important business associate completely fell apart. Years went by and we did not speak to each other. Finally, I picked up the phone and took the first steps to mending that relationship. Was it hard to pick up that phone? No, to be perfectly honest with you, all those years of NOT picking up the phone were much more difficult. What did those years cost me? What price did I pay?
Mending a broken relationship is easier than you think. It can be as simple as reaching out and saying to the other person, “What I did and what I said wasn’t very nice and that’s not who I want to be. Can we please start over?”
To strengthen your relationships and keep them from falling apart, remember these three tips:
- Give other people a sense of power. Let them know that their ideas, thoughts, and feelings matter to you. When you give people a sense of power, you build your own self-esteem, too.
- Do you know one of the biggest mistakes made by corporate America? They ignore the person who shows up on time and does a good job. You could work for a company for years, show up on time every single day, and nobody says a thing about it. Then one day you show up late, and what happens? “Aha, caught ya!” Now you suddenly get noticed, but for the wrong reason. And as we all know and believe, what you focus on starts to grow. If you want great relationships, give people a sense of appreciation.
- Relationships at work are just as important as relationships with friends, family, and strangers on the street. Think about it: where do you spend most of your time? At work! Give the people you work with a sense of being cared about.
Last but certainly not least, remember this tip from motivational speaker Og Mandino: Treat everyone as if they were wearing a sign that says “Make me feel important.”
Quotes of the Month
“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.”
– Roy Disney
“We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs.”
– Gloria Steinem
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2011 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink
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