|
|
Pay It Forward
Hi Everyone,
 In her wonderful book, Pay It Forward, Catherine Ryan Hyde wrote that even though you can’t always pay back the people who have helped you along the way, you can “pay it forward” to someone else. In a similar way, you can pay it forward to make up for having been unkind or wronging people in the past. You can build up a spiritual and “good karma” bank account, so to speak, so helpfulness and kindness continue to flow.
Years ago, I went to dinner with a good friend who tends to feel down a lot. He had recently attended a seminar where the speaker offered this advice for happiness: Mentally tell everyone you come in contact with, “I love you.” Although my friend thought it was silly, a few days later while standing in line at the bank, he noticed a teller being harsh and abusive toward her customers and decided to give it a try. Just before he approached the teller, he looked at her and thought, I love you. As he stepped up to her window, she looked up and smiled for the first time since he’d been in the bank. My friend left the bank and flew through his day, astonished that this simple gesture had such a major impact on his own self-esteem.
The moral is, you get what you give in life. If you’re feeling a lack of love, give love to other people. If you’re feeling misunderstood, try to understand others first. If you’re feeling a lack of support, give your support to other people. And if you’re feeling that people aren’t nice, try being nice to them first.
As the holidays approach, I challenge and encourage all of us to pay it forward with kindness and good cheer. This is one gift that won’t cost a penny but makes the giver and receiver feel like a million bucks! And by the way, if silently saying “I love you” to strangers feels a little too challenging, you might instead try thinking, You are important.
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice.
XOXO, Winn
A BE NICE Story
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to stories@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
As you can imagine, we can’t publish every letter we get, but we cherish and save each one of them. These three arrived some time ago, and they’re perfect for this month’s newsletter.
 Hello Winn,
I’m recently unemployed and have spent the last three weeks looking for a job. I have so much work experience, have been blessed with great opportunities and wonderful paychecks, and yet I am having no luck finding a new career. When I read your newsletter about turning negatives into gifts, I had to stop and review my life. I may not have a found a revenue stream, but I have found extra time with my husband, daughter, granddaughter, and dog. Extra energy to clean out closets, donate clothes, bake my husband’s favorite cake, pack his lunch every day, prepare better meals, and meet nice people that I wouldn’t have met. There is an upside to everything. Thank you for your newsletter, your winning attitude, and your ability to inspire me!
— Nan Hager
I was riding home from work with a friend and complaining about my day. Two years earlier, I was not at work because of an illness. My friend reminded me how lucky I was to be back at work and to concentrate on the good things, saying, “Pay it forward, babe.” Pay it forward was stuck in my mind the next day when I stopped for lunch. A woman in front of me had two small children, and one was asleep in her arms. When I got my order and headed to my seat, I noticed that she had no drinks so I offered to bring her some water. She seemed surprised and delighted that someone would do that for her. I hope my gesture inspires her to do something kind for someone else and that the kind gestures just keep flowing.
— Leslie Q. Wolfe
When I arrived at the bus stop, I was nervous and hesitant to sit by a stranger, let alone ask for her name. I felt ashamed and embarrassed for feeling that way, took a deep breath, and figured it out. She was a beautiful elderly woman named Ericka from Hungary. She now has my (your) book; I signed it and asked her to pass it on. She had been a prisoner of war and was so grateful for a book. Thanks, Winn; I now get the bigger picture.
— Julie Cassidy
BE NICE News
Bullying and Suicide: A Special Message from Winn
I’m sure you’ve seen the recent flood of news and celebrity messages regarding suicide, which can stem from bullying. Suicide touched my family when my brother took his own life in 1998. In 2003, the Paul Mitchell Schools network started the Andrew Gomez Dream Foundation to address the issues of bipolar disorder and depression, which can sometimes lead to suicide. It was founded to honor Andrew Gomez, a Paul Mitchell graduate who launched a brilliant career and then took his own life four years later.
You don’t have to be an adolescent to suffer from bullying or from feeling as though you don’t fit in. Most of us have spent a lifetime trying to pull down barriers and break stereotypes.
Our Paul Mitchell Schools have been vocal with our “One Size Fits All” message, which was designed to educate ourselves about those who deal with substance abuse, eating disorders, domestic violence, self-abuse, depression, suicide, gender identity, sexual identity, and more. Although our personal beliefs and lifestyles might favor a specific religion or political affiliation, we have a responsibility as leaders to “take off that hat” and instead put on a different hat: One Size Fits All. Like all people, we’re human beings trying to do the right thing for humanity.
 I loved Dave Navarro’s brave and poignant message to those who consider suicide (http://bit.ly/b9TI52): “Now the world has one less mind that is open and different and unique and sensitive. Instead, we inherit the bullies, the fear, the set back… Our world has one less soul to help it evolve with a new level of clarity.”
 I also loved the wonderful YouTube message from Ellen DeGeneres: http://on.fb.me/bJ9B3N
As leaders, human beings, and ordinary people, our role is to remove our bias and judgments and replace them with empathy. Please join me in spreading the message that intolerance must end and acceptance must prevail.
Facebook Goes Purple for Spirit Day
By Ki Mae Heussner, ABC News
Answering the call from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) to “wear purple on Oct. 20 for Spirit Day,” Facebook fans around the world changed their status messages, created purple versions of their profile pictures, joined Facebook groups and more.
“By wearing purple online and offline today, millions of Americans are sending an important message to let gay and lesbian youth know that they are supported for being exactly who they are,” GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios said.
Oct. 20 was designated Spirit Day by Canadian teenager Brittany McMillan to honor the teenagers who recently committed suicide after anti-LGBT bullying online, according to GLAAD. “Spirit Day honors the teenagers who had taken their own lives in recent weeks,” the media monitoring group said, adding that purple symbolizes “spirit” on the rainbow flag, a symbol for LGBT pride. “But, just as importantly, it’s also a way to show the hundreds of thousands of LGBT youth who face the same pressures and bullying, that there is a vast community of people who support them.”
 Rallying around the cause, several Facebook groups encouraging people to wear purple have popped on the site. One of the biggest, “R.I.P. ;; In memory of the recent suicides due to gay abuse, wear purple,” has attracted more than 1.6 million attendees.
In newsfeeds across the site, Facebook fans from California to Canada and Vienna to Venezuela posted messages of support. On Twitter, the hashtag #SpiritDay was a trending topic and GLAAD said its tweet about the campaign was listed as a Top Tweet. The campaign even caught the attention of stars, such as Khloe Kardashian, Cyndi Lauper, Alyssa Milano, Ricky Martin and Ryan Seacrest, who joined the effort on Facebook and Twitter.
Who Doesn’t Need a Hug These Days?
An army of 13,500 future beauty professionals took to the streets on September 23, 2010, for the second nationwide Paul Mitchell Schools Free Hugs Day. Dressed in their signature black outfits, carrying handmade “Free Hugs” signs, and naturally sporting fabulous styles, Future Professionals from the network’s 100 schools headed for plazas, parks, and other popular spots to offer hugs and make people’s day.
Inspired by the Sick Puppies YouTube music video about Juan Mann’s popular Free Hugs campaign, Paul Mitchell Schools have held numerous Free Hugs events throughout America. For the nationwide Free Hugs Day event, Future Professionals hit the streets simultaneously in every time zone throughout the continental U.S. and Hawaii, first in the morning for day school students, and then again in the evening for night school.
“As members of the beauty industry, we’re in the business of helping people look beautiful,” said Paul Mitchell Schools Dean and Cofounder Winn Claybaugh. “More important, it’s part of our ‘be nice’ culture to help people feel beautiful. Our Free Hugs campaign is just one of the many ways our Future Professionals show their passion and compassion in their local communities.”
CLICK HERE to see highlights from the 2009 Free Hugs Day. Click on PLAYLISTS to see Free Hugs Day 2010 videos from schools across the country!
Betty White Joins Paul Mitchell Schools FUNraising Campaign
By Winn Claybaugh
 I recently had the humbling and exciting opportunity to shoot a video with TV legend Betty White, who has graciously partnered with Paul Mitchell Schools to raise money for Morris Animal Foundation. Miss White has been affiliated with MAF since 1971, and Paul Mitchell Schools have committed to donating $100,000 through their 2011 FUNraising campaign.
I can't believe this is my life! I don’t have a “bucket list,” but if I did, meeting Betty White certainly would have been on it. I am a huge fan of hers, simply because she has brought me so much joy and happiness, and she shuts off my mind at the end of a crazy day. However, I’m no fool. I know that Betty White did not agree to partner with me because I’m so fabulous. She agreed because I have used my circle of influence (which currently includes 13,500 Paul Mitchell Future Professionals, school owners, Learning Leaders, and staff members) to make the difference in the lives of many people by raising money and awareness. And now, with Betty White, we’ll make a difference in the lives of animals, too.
Morris Animal Foundation helps animals enjoy longer, healthier lives. They advance health and welfare research that protects, treats, and cures companion animals, horses, and wildlife worldwide. “Partnering with Paul Mitchell Schools is such a wonderful opportunity to help advance the health and well-being of our animal friends,” Betty White said. “On behalf of Morris Animal Foundation, thank you.”
CLICK HERE to see a fun flip camera video taken after filming the “real” video shoot with Betty White.
Visit www.youtube.com/winnclaybaugh to see the video that will be used to promote Paul Mitchell Schools’ 2011 FUNraising partnership with Betty White on behalf of Morris Animal Foundation. (Coming soon!)
Monthly Audio Message
Charles Marcus (www.cmarcus.com)
 Charles Marcus is the author of Success Is Not a Spectator Sport: How to Take Action and Achieve More, which has received critical acclaim as a road map for success. Originally from England, Charles has over 30 years of international experience in the hair and beauty industry. As a professional speaker, he delivers motivational and inspirational presentations about change, leadership, relationship selling, customer service, and success.
At age 4, Charles was lost in the woods for 16 hours. The resulting shock and trauma left him with a severe stutter for 25 years. While the average person speaks 170 to 220 words per minute, Charles spoke 7 words per minute on a good day. When he “took the easy way out” and stopped speaking, he discovered that smart, successful people speak about 20 percent of the time and listen 80 percent. Charles developed the skills of becoming a great listener, overcame his disability, and eventually became a popular, sought-after professional speaker.
CLICK HERE to listen in as Charles Marcus reveals his five principles for success. You’ll discover great insights about asking for help, taking small steps, and sticking to your beliefs. “Smart, successful people are participants,” Charles says. “When you’re a player, you determine your destiny instead of waiting for somebody else to come along and make the good stuff happen. Stop whining and be a player!”
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, CLICK HERE to join the thousands of subscribers all over the world and receive MASTERS Audio Club for just $12.95 each month.
People Profile
Catching Up with Catherine Ryan Hyde
 Catherine Ryan Hyde’s beautiful book Pay It Forward was recently released as a trade paperback. Her latest book, Jumpstart the World, made its debut on October 21, 2010. Currently in the midst of a blog tour to promote Jumpstart, Catherine recently blogged about one of its characters, Frank, a transgender person close to her heart. She also offered some thoughts about Facebook’s recent Spirit Day. Here are a few excerpts from her recent posts:
As some of you may know already, I grew up with a transgender sibling. When I was about 13 or 14, I had to learn to call my sister my brother and switch from “she” to “he.”
Sometimes I think people make too much of their own discomfort as a friend or relative of someone in transition. Really you are not being asked to do anything but accept change. Maybe I’m lucky, because I got a good early lesson in acceptance. That’s the kind of lesson that comes in handy as life unfolds.
A transgender person is someone who is born with a type of birth defect, for lack of a better phrase. A person whose insides don’t match their outsides. It could have happened to you. As it turns out, it didn’t. But if it had, you’d understand, and you’d wish others would be open to understanding. Or at least accepting.
I know from experience that when you know a transgender person, acceptance is not hard. So, after this, maybe you’ll know Frank (from Jumpstart the World). And maybe that will help just a little. Maybe that will add a little understanding and acceptance to the issue. I hope so. I think it’s overdue.
This is not the first time Catherine has written about a transgender character. In Pay It Forward, she introduced Gordy, a teenage boy who presented himself as female whenever he could (Gordy didn’t make it into the movie, so few people know about him).
Catherine explains why she created Gordy: “I was so outraged by the violence and abuse faced by transgender people. The way someone will cross over from the other side of the street to start trouble. To get in their faces, push them. Ask them, ‘What are you?’ (Uh, a human being?) Call them ‘it.’ When it happens to someone you care about, it’s pretty damned unbearable. So I wanted to make that point.”
For her continued belief that one person can make a difference—can change the world—we love and applaud Catherine Ryan Hyde. To follow her blog and learn more, visit www.catherineryanhyde.com.
Corporate Corner
Give-It-Back Wednesdays
 “One of my favorite things to do is Give It Back Wednesday,” says Robyn Whittaker, owner of Beyond Cuts Salon in Webster, New York. Every third Wednesday, Robyn donates all of her salon’s service and retail income for the day to a charity. “I’ve chosen three charities to support, and I rotate them quarterly,” she says.
Robyn reports that her clients have responded so well that some of them wait to purchase products or have their hair done on those days. Sometimes they even add a little something extra to their total, to help the charities.
Robyn selects charities that provide different services. She’s currently supporting Gilda’s Club, which helps people with cancer and other terminal illnesses; the Ronald McDonald House, a home away from home where families can stay near their hospitalized children; and Lollypop Farm, an animal support organization.
“Sometimes I purchase items from the organizations’ wish lists instead of sending a check, and that can be fun,” Robyn says. “Give It Back Wednesdays give me a great feeling, so I guess I’m also my own charity because it helps me, too!”
Do Something
The Power of “Nice Mantras”
By Winn Claybaugh
I strongly believe in the power of affirmations and mantras. On a particularly tough day I sometimes will repeat one of my “nice mantras” 100 times to help get myself back on track.
My mantra for the past several years has been “Thank you, God.” Whenever I see a wonderful sunset, I either silently or out loud say, “Thank you, God.” If I have a great dinner conversation with a good friend, or a surge of bliss runs through my body for no apparent reason, I simply say, “Thank you, God.”
 While on a vacation in Paris last summer, I wandered into the Notre Dame Cathedral for a tour. Without planning in advance, I just happened to walk in when an amazing choir was performing with that brilliant, historical organ. This was absolutely one of those experiences when all I could think and humbly say was, “Thank you, God.”
What is your nice mantra? If you don’t have one already, take a few minutes to think about what you could say to yourself on a regular basis to remind you to be nice. Write your nice mantra on several three-by-five-inch cards and place them visibly where you’ll see them often, such as on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator, office desk, or car dashboard.
Quotes of the Month
“We live in a world which is full of misery and ignorance, and the plain duty of each and all of us is to try to make the little corner he can influence somewhat less miserable and somewhat less ignorant than it was before he entered it.”
— Thomas Henry (T. H.) Huxley
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”
— Meister Eckhart
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn, or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”
— Denis Waitley
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2010 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink
|
|
|
|
