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Motivation Is Not a One-Time Event
Hi Everyone,
 As a business owner, I learned years ago to evaluate why people weren’t doing their jobs, and to recognize whether it’s because they won’t or they can’t. This concept applies outside the business world, as well. When they can’t do their job or other responsibilities, it means they need more training, information, resources, or guidance—in other words, more education. When people won’t do their job (or their homework, their chores, or some other responsibility), it means there’s an attitude challenge, but a Be Nice culture can inspire people to feel good about themselves and therefore want to do their best.
In the business world, education is one of the best employee benefits a company can offer. When a company assumes a lot of the responsibility for providing education and growth opportunities, staff loyalty is greatly enhanced. And when a staff sticks around, so do the customers.
To keep your team, your family, or yourself motivated, the education doesn’t always have to be about your industry, product, service, customer service policies, or a specific task. It could focus on topics like improving personal relationships, balancing your money and getting out of debt, CPR or first aid, a class on wellness or health, some type of exercise or transcendental meditation, feng shui for the home or office, a book discussion group, a pastry cooking course, learning a second language, or improving your creative and professional writing skills. The goal is to offer something interesting, stimulating, challenging, and motivating.
It’s important to remember that you can’t provide just one motivational class and expect people to say, “That’s it, I’m positive for life.” You’d never go to just one aerobics class and say, “That’s it, I’m fit for life.” As motivational speaker Tony Robbins says, you’d never think to leave the house in the morning without brushing your teeth, even though you brushed your teeth yesterday.
This month’s newsletter is filled with ideas for motivating yourself, your team, and everyone around you … not just once but on an ongoing basis. I hope you enjoy it!
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice.
XOXO, Winn
A BE NICE Story
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to stories@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
These three letters share two great ideas for staying motivated. What’s your best idea for keeping yourself, your family, your coworkers, and others motivated to excel?
Dear Winn,
Last night was my son’s graduation from eighth grade. At the ceremony, they hand out awards for academics, club participation, and an adviser’s award, which is chosen by the lead teachers for any reason they feel is deserving.
Last night the teachers chose my son Chandler and for the best reason ever: they chose him for BEING NICE! He could have gotten every academic award in the room and I would not have been as proud as I was to hear him getting an award for being nice.
Even better, at the after party we parents held for the class, other parents told me all night that their children said he deserved the award because he truly is the nicest person in his grade. I like to think that in addition to his fantastic nature, it helps to have raised him in a Be Nice culture. Thank you, Winn!
– Shyla Hazen
Epsom, New Hampshire
 Mr. B. Nice (cute, huh? LOL),
I read your book in about 5 hours flat, no breaks, and I wanted to let you know that I am truly one of the most blessed people on this planet. All my life I’ve been searching for something. I didn’t quite know what, but I knew that once I found it, my soul would speak up and say, “This is it!” I can finally say my search is complete.
My story: My dad isn’t present and I was raised by a crack fiend. I dropped out of school to take care of my younger siblings. No education plus no money equals worthless. That WAS my perception of things. My self-esteem was raggedy, nowhere where it should’ve been.
My mom is still an abusive addict, and I’m still not financially stable, but the riches developing inside of me amount to more than any doctor, lawyer, or actor’s salary any day. I am creating the woman I always wanted to be and loving myself for who I am despite the labels placed on me. I am somebody, I always have been, and I always will be. But if it wasn’t for you and this book, I don’t know where I’d be. I’ve done it all—suicidal thoughts, alcohol addictions, and I’m only 20. But you’ve given me hope, a reason to move forward, to move past the past, to let go and let God. You have changed my life, and like a true teacher, your influence will not stop with me.
I am determined to pass this along to EVERYONE I come in contact with, because I believe we are not blessed just for ourselves but so we can share our blessings with others. Remember my name and mark my words: the next time you hear from me or see me, I’ll be huge and it’s all because of you! Thank you!
– Bre “Breezy” Prime
Nashville, Tennessee
Dear Winn,
I just wanted to thank you for writing Be Nice (Or Else!). It has made such a change in my life and also my husband’s life. We were on tough times with our relationship, and through your book … we were able to work through our differences and now are back to being a very happy couple. Your book saved my marriage and now I recommend it to all my married friends. Thanks so much; you are an amazing mentor!
– Kirsten Wanner
Citrus Heights, California
At a recent seminar, I was stopped by a fan of the Be Nice philosophy who believes in it so much that she had “Be Nice” tattooed to her arm.
As part of my own curriculum and practice to be nice, whenever I traveled and was running through airport after airport, I used to wear a T-shirt that said, WHATEVER THE QUESTION, LOVE IS THE ANSWER. I wore that shirt because its message made people feel like they had permission to approach me. They assumed that only a nice guy would wear a shirt like that, and they felt comfortable smiling at me or even chatting with me. I loved it because even though I was on the road alone, I felt as though I made many connections with some very nice people.
I don’t have that shirt anymore, but I now have BE NICE tattooed on my upper arm. How do people respond? The same as they did when I wore that T-shirt. I get lots of smiles, friendly nods, and many people who come up and begin a conversation about my tattoo. That’s cool. I’m approachable, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
– XOXO, Winn
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 BE NICE News
A Note from Winn …
It bears repeating that you won’t build your BE NICE muscles just by reading the book, and it’s not a physical trait passed on by your parents; you have to practice, practice, practice! To be nice, you must consciously decide to learn and develop the necessary skills, just as you’d have to practice, practice, practice to be a brilliant pianist, or exercise regularly to stay in shape. You can’t read one book or attend one seminar and think, That’s all I have to do. To be nice, you have to enroll in a curriculum of practicing for the rest of your life, and you will never graduate.
You may have noticed that many of the stories I share in this newsletter come from the beauty industry, because that’s my circle of influence. That’s where I earn a paycheck and where I get to practice, practice, practice the BE NICE philosophy in my world. What’s your circle of influence? Where do you get to play and practice these philosophies? Maybe you practice at a bank, or as an elementary school teacher, airline pilot, ditch digger, house painter, or carpenter? Wherever you are, keep practicing and spreading the BE NICE way of life!
Be Nice Team Members Receive Awards
At Trend Setters College of Cosmetology – A Paul Mitchell Partner School in Illinois, Be Nice (Or Else!) team leader Melissa Sederholm developed an exciting motivational technique: she rewards outstanding team members with Be Nice certificates and letters of appreciation.
One recent award went to Keri Fullerton Packer, who created an outreach program called Gift of God Street Church Caring Cuts. Under this program, the school’s Be Nice (Or Else!) Team visits a homeless shelter every quarter to cut and style hair and listen to people’s stories. After graduation, Keri will continue as the Caring Cuts coordinator, working with the church’s pastor and including the Trend Setters Be Nice Team in the ongoing program.
A second award went to Katrina Malone, who was recognized by Riverside Hospital for her amazing ability to make the patients’ day. The Trend Setters Be Nice Team spends time with patients, many in the rehabilitation unit. Katrina also visits on her own time, massaging the arms and hands of elderly rehab patients, combing their hair, giving mini manicures, and listening. Her award was given at the hospital’s request. After graduation, Katrina plans to continue giving back at the hospital.
Be Nice Revolution Spreads to Cambodia
 Ashley Chin, a graduate and staff member of The Temple – A Paul Mitchell Partner School in Frederick, Maryland, recently spent 14 days in Cambodia. Spreading the Be Nice culture she learned at her school and sharing her passion and skills for cosmetology, Ashley taught underprivileged young women and men how to give haircuts.
 Ashley’s Cambodian “students” work for the Cambodian Hope Organization (CHO), which provides shelter for orphans, children from broken homes, and women who have been enslaved in trafficking (involuntary prostitution). CHO also provides healthcare for HIV/AIDS patients who do not have enough money to be hospitalized and provides education and ways to earn an honest living, among many other acts of service in the communities around Poipet, Cambodia. Armed with their new cosmetology skills, the CHO staff members will be able to cut hair for children at the orphanage, keeping them clean and saving the organization money.
CHO’s additional current project is to open a salon for women in the shelter, where they can earn money and gain confidence while pursuing careers in the beauty industry. The salon should open in 2012. Sharon and Charles Riser, owners of The Temple, donated samples and tools to send with Ashley for the new salon.
Knowing that motivation is not a one-time event, Ashley plans to return to Cambodia for in April 2012, along with 5 to 10 students from The Temple.
To learn more about CHO, visit www.cambodianhopeorganization.org or contact Ashley Chin on Facebook: facebook.com/ashley.chin1
Be Nice Teams Help Joplin Tornado Victims
 On Sunday, May 22, 2011, an EF 5 tornado destroyed Joplin, Missouri, tragically killing 151 people. One of them was Gina Bloxham, the mother of Jenni Bybee, a Learning Leader at The System – A Paul Mitchell Partner School and a member of the Paul Mitchell Advanced Academy Texture Team. Jenni’s younger sister Kat and her grandmother lived with Gina; Kat was fortunate to be away during the storm, but her 88-year-old Granny was injured and hospitalized.
Living, breathing, and owning the Be Nice culture, The System and its sister schools, Paul Mitchell The School – Fayetteville and Paul Mitchell The School – Wichita, stepped up to help in several different ways. Students donated their tips for a day and held cut-a-thons, craft sales, and other events to raise money for Jenni’s family, who had lost everything. On June 8, The System’s entire student body and staff members went to Joplin, where they helped at a donation center, sorting and organizing donated items. Some served as “personal shoppers,” escorting victims through tents and helping them fill grocery carts to replace items they had lost. A handful of students and staff headed to the streets of the devastated town, helping families with lifting and sifting through debris, looking for treasured personal items lost in the tragedy. Some students spent several hours with an elderly man, searching for a specific photo he hoped to find—and they found it.
“Jenni’s family will never be able to replace items of personal significance, but we can provide financial support to calm the stress of starting over,” said Mendi Clavin-Benton, a staff member from The System. “Jenni’s Granny still remains in the hospital weeks later. We at The System are here to support.”
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Monthly Audio Message
 Aaron “A.J.” Yager hit the entrepreneurial scene at age 10, a young sensation years ahead of his generation. Mentored by his grandfather (“Pop Pop”) at that early age, A.J. learned the power of goal setting by reading motivational books and listening to audio programs for 30 minutes a day, and then writing reports describing what he learned that day. His daily self-development project included studying human potential, business success, and personal achievement.
A dynamic speaker who coaches high achievers to break free of limitations and create prosperous, happy, fun-filled lives, A.J. has a passion for helping people become successful in life and in business. The author of four books, including an Amazon best seller, A.J. was voted one of America’s top young entrepreneurs by Youngbiz magazine and was listed among Business Week’s “Top 25 Under 25” young entrepreneurs in America.
Seeing the need for a full-color, glossy lifestyle magazine for the city of Long Beach, California, A.J. and two partners founded Long Beach magazine in 2004. Under his leadership as editor-in-chief and creative director, the magazine grew from a 24-page free publication with a handful of advertisers to a beautiful 84-page magazine reaching over 100,000 readers per month and serving numerous local and national advertisers.
Today A.J. runs his own marketing/publishing company, is a featured speaker around the nation on business startups and entrepreneurship, and consults with mostly Internet and information marketing companies. He is also cofounder of Strategic Farming, Inc., a unique business improving the processes of farming and teaching the people of America how to grow their own food.
LISTEN IN as Winn Claybaugh interviews A.J. Yager about motivating, inspiring, and empowering the Millennial generation. As the perfect example of a high-performing Millennial, A.J. talks about what they want (leadership and mentoring) and how to lead, mentor, and manage them in the business world.
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, CLICK HERE to join the thousands of subscribers all over the world and receive MASTERS Audio Club, now available in CD and MP3!
People Profile
Cathy Stiles-DeNest and Ian Currie
 Cathy Stiles-DeNest, a Learning Leader at the Delaware Academy – A Paul Mitchell Partner School, uses her role to teach students about her wonderful son with Down syndrome and the special needs community.
Cathy's son, Ian Currie, is 28 years old, works at Bank of America, has a girlfriend of eight years, and goes out with his buddies once a month for a night of wrestling, burgers, and beers. He is involved in Special Olympics and an acting group called the Totally Awesome Players. “He has family and friends who love him,” Cathy says. “He’s just like you and me.”
 “In each class I teach, I share my personal stories as part of my lesson plans,” Cathy adds. “Most are funny, some are touching, and others help people understand what it means to have someone like Ian in their lives, so when they meet people with special needs they won’t fear them, laugh at them, or treat them unkindly.”
In keeping with the Special Olympics “Stop the R-Word” campaign, Cathy teaches her students, “The use of the R-word is not acceptable today, just the way the N-word and other politically incorrect statements aren’t heard anymore. It is hurtful and de-humanizing. I now have students telling me how they are spreading the word to all their friends and making an effort not to use the R-word. I am so proud of the students. Our school’s Culture Café sounds so much better without hearing that awful word, and you should see them when my son comes in. They circle around him, play, and laugh with him. They volunteer at Special Olympics events, they walk with us at the Buddy Walk as Ian’s Beauty Buddies, and they sang Christmas songs at Easter Seals.”
Corporate Corner
BE NICE Resources for Motivating Your Team
Business owners and leaders often ask me to recommend a DVD or CD to help them motivate their staffs. Their requests sometimes take the form of, “I need WINN to motivate my team!” Although I love speaking to groups and organizations, I also want people to know that, as a leader in your organization, YOU have the power and responsibility to motivate your team ... but I do have a few tools to help you out.
One great exercise you can use is to facilitate seminars and staff meetings utilizing Be Nice (Or Else!). Chapters 8 and 9 focus solely on workplace environment and culture and are filled with great ideas. You could have your staff read those chapters and assign different individuals to facilitate bits and pieces, sharing the ideas and messages they find valuable and helpful.
 Please check out the complimentary posters on www.beniceorelse.com, which many businesses have printed and displayed (poster size, in color) to share the message on a full-time basis. Each poster could be a theme for a staff meeting or training, coupled with the motivational MASTERS CDs, etc.
- Quite a few of my speeches have been posted on YouTube: mini-excerpts that you and your staff might find helpful. Check them out at www.youtube.com/winnclaybaugh
- Also, check out the December 2006 BE NICE Newsletter, which includes a “Create Magic Activity Book.” I strongly recommend that you professionally print one for each staff member (make changes as you see fit) and invite them to spend the next 3 to 6 months completing everything in the book.
 Host a Character Awards ceremony to create harmony, loyalty, and teamwork like you’ve never seen before. Click below and scroll down to the “Do Something” section of the November 2008 BE NICE Newsletter; you’ll find a download for how to host The Character Awards.
- Check out the BE NICE Store, which has lots of materials mentioned above: www.beniceorelse.com/pages/products.html
Bottom line: one DVD or motivational seminar won’t get your staff on track and keep them there. Motivation needs to be ongoing—a part of who you are as a leader—and incorporated into your company culture of how you run your business. You can make it happen!
Do Something
Warning: Labeling Can Be Dangerous
 In chapter 8 of Be Nice (Or Else!) I wrote about visionaries, resisters, and fence sitters. As a reminder:
- Visionaries are people who’ve caught your company’s vision. They respect all job descriptions, protocols, and company standards, and they do whatever it takes to make sure the company is profitable, the team is happy and healthy, and their participation is for the good of everyone. Their attitude is, “What’s in it for us today?”
- Fence sitters are people who, on any given day and with any given project, could go either way. Some days they’re for you, some days they’re against you. Their loyalty and commitment are tied to their mood that day, or to some other arbitrary scale.
- Resisters think it’s their job to resist anything and everything. They’re very good at planting their insidious seeds of negativity.
Recently, I provided some coaching to a business owner who had labeled a complaining customer a “resister.” Whenever a business receives a complaint from a client or staff member, I recommend that they do the following:
- Avoid labeling the person who submitted the complaint. Don’t discount the message by simply branding the “messenger” as a resister or fence sitter.
- Pull your staff together to review each item of the complaint to discover what’s TRUE about it.
- Encourage everyone to use the complaint as a learning opportunity to fix, change, and improve your leadership, communication, systems, and perception.
- Rather than focusing on the lessons of the person who complained (“They need to learn how to be on time for work every day!”), choose to focus on your lessons. It’s easy to dismiss a staff member or customer’s complaint and “shoot the messenger,” but what is your organization’s lesson in all of this?
Even if someone really is struggling and really does fall into the category of being a resister, please be aware that there’s some danger of vocalizing that opinion to your staff members; they might be tempted to scale back their commitment to provide the best service to each and every customer and team member, no matter their attitude.
Instead of labeling a person who is truly struggling, ask yourself and your team what your company can do to turn that person into a visionary. In a BE NICE organization, our goal is not just to sell a product or service, but also to provide a safe, loving environment where the worst attitudes and most bitter individuals can finally relax and become brilliant, both technically and in spirit.
Quote of the Month
“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.”
– Life’s Little Instruction Book,
compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2011 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink
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