| August 2006 In this issue... A BE NICE Story BE NICE News Monthly Audio Message People Profile Corporate Corner Do Something! Quote of the Month And on BeNiceOrElse.com: Featured Article No Regrets Past Newsletters July 2006 Cultivate Mentors June 2006 BE NICE Is Catching On! May 2006 Community Responsibility April 2006 Find Your Own Path March 2006 Motivate Yourself and Others February 2006 Let Your Inner Beauty Shine January 2006 Teamwork 2005 Archives 2004 Archives And from the BeNiceOrElse Audio Archives:  James MorrisonHurricane Heartbreak Join Winn for an inspiring interview with TONI&GUY/TIGI USA co-founder and co-owner James Morrison. Don’t miss James’s upcoming special on WTVI-TV, August 2, 7, 12, 13. Visit www.wtvi.org for details.
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NO REGRETS
 Hi Everyone,Like many, there was a time when I found myself clocking birthdays with more and more regrets. I regretted not having a good relationship with my father. I regretted an addiction. I regretted not taking advantage of certain opportunities. For many years, I was angry with my dad because he didn’t accept me for who I was. I complained to a friend about this, but my friend challenged me by saying, “You don’t accept your father for who he is.” My friend was right. The minute I accepted my father for who he was, two things happened. First, it seemed as though my father became more interested in me. Second, I no longer felt the desperation of needing my father’s acceptance. I grew up, let go of the unfair expectations, and felt as though I could approach each day with no regrets. In the past several years, my father has struggled with a number of health issues. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that he and I figured our stuff out years ago, before his health issues began. If my father were to be taken from me tomorrow, I can honestly and thankfully say that I would have no regrets. So, how can you sleep at night with the thought that if a loved one were to be taken from you, you would have no regrets? You can start by making the proclamation: No Regrets. Set yourself up to live your life so as not to have any regrets when it comes to your relationships. That’s the theme of this month’s newsletter, and you’ll find lots of ideas to help you make “No Regrets” your mantra, too. Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice. XOXO, Winn A BE NICE Story Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to editor@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD! In my seminars, I often talk about 9/11 and those people in the towers and on the plane who had a brief chance to make a phone call. They didn’t call an old enemy to fight it out one more time. They called someone they loved, and they had one message: “I love you.” After telling that story, I ask my audiences to grab their cell phones and make a similar call. Here’s what happened not long ago.  Hi Winn,A few weeks back my daughter Desirae gave me a copy of Be Nice (Or Else!). Yesterday it was like the book came to life. Desirae had texted me earlier to say that you had surprised her school and you were the speaker of the day. Later, I was driving to work when Desirae called me crying—she told me she wanted me to know how much she loved me. I knew exactly what was happening because I have read your book and knew that you have done this at your seminars. It was actually happening, and I was so fortunate to be a participant in this wonderful experience. That one day at your school has changed my daughter forever. She was still choked up when I spoke to her later that evening. I want to personally thank you. You have touched two more people. Keep on moving on! You are a wonderful person! Thank you again, Tina Young BE NICE News DoOneNiceThing.com Honors Winn Claybaugh  Winn Claybaugh has received the “Nice People Award” from kindness project DoOneNiceThing.com. The award is given to individuals who demonstrate extraordinary kindness and selflessness. In announcing the award, Debbie Tenzer, founder of DoOneNiceThing.com, said, “From the idea of instilling kindness in his students because it’s right and it’s good for business, Winn has lifted the spirits of countless people—beauty and hair professionals as well as salon guests. Beyond this, he personally devotes much time, energy, money and love to helping people throughout his profession and their communities. DoOneNiceThing.com is honored to shine the spotlight on Winn and thank him for all he does to make the world a better place.” DoOneNiceThing.com’s mission is simple: Do at least one nice thing for someone every Monday. The online organization has members all over the world. To see the nice things you can do, and to see the tribute to Winn, visit DoOneNiceThing.com. Monthly Audio Message  Mark Edgar Stephens is a life coach, author, and creator with passion and purpose. His credentials from the Behavior Science Center (aka the Hypnosis Motivation Institute) and his hours of on- and off-camera life coaching allow him to work with thousands of people as a professional belief system enhancer and behavior modification specialist. In his work with individuals and groups, he uses many techniques, including body language, hypnosis, communication/rapport-building techniques, and dream therapy. Mark has used his skills to work as a dating/relationship coach for two seasons on TLC’s popular inner makeover TV series, Date Patrol and he has been a featured relationship/body language expert on The Oprah Winfrey Show (“Million Dollar Wedding Giveaway”) and Oprah: After the Show. His résumé also includes a stint as a consulting freelance writer for the Disney Company, where he developed educational children’s programming. As one of the creators and founders of A Step Ahead Productions, Mark leads his team in developing life-affirming, powerful, “edutainment” for TV and film audiences. He recently completed his first book of motivational life skills, Who Are You Choosing to BE? and will appear as the life coach on HGTV's new series, Under One Roof, premiering in August 2006.  Listen to Mark’s brand-new MASTERS interview. You’ll learn several simple techniques for developing successful relationships or fixing dysfunctional ones.If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, you’ll love our MASTERS Audio Club. CLICK HERE for more information. People Profile I met hairstylist and salon owner Michael Galvin in 1991. After hearing me speak, he approached me and asked me to talk to his salon staff. A few years later, he approached me again about opening his first of three Paul Mitchell Schools, and we’ve been good friends and business partners ever since.  I didn’t know it when we met, but Michael and his sister Dolores Carberry had not spoken for 13 years. “On November 28, 2004, I got a phone call from my sister,” Michael recalls. “She told me that her youngest son had committed suicide. It took one phone call to bring us back together. We had a conversation shortly thereafter, to assure each other that we would never let that happen again. To lose 13 years was unacceptable.”Michael and Dolores rebuilt their personal relationship and started a business relationship. “I had a job available at the school and she was perfect for it,” Michael says. “We were having a real good time together, having fun within the relationship and the friendship.” On July 3, 2006, everything changed. “I invited her to go for a ride on our boat,” Michael says. “I remember her swimming in the water, having fun, laughing.” But then Dolores had what they later found out was a massive heart attack. “We rushed her to shore, but by the time she got to the hospital she was dead.” Since the terrible tragedy, Michael has shared his story with many people. “I honestly have no regrets,” he says. “The last year and a half were fun and exciting for both of us. Never let life pass you by. Pick up the phone today, send an e-mail, tell someone you love them. Make sure if you were to lose a loved one tomorrow, that you would have no regrets.” Corporate Corner Choosing “No Regrets” — Forgive and Learn by Mark Edgar Stephens Author of Who Are You Choosing to BE? (Fall 2006) www.markedgarstephens.com The business world is all about relationships. Maintaining those relationships with integrity requires consistently making choices in alignment with win-win outcomes for all parties concerned. If your mind is constantly in a state of doubt or regret about past business choices and decisions, no matter how large or small, you lose clarity on the new opportunities that arise every moment and you stay stuck in the guilt and shame associated with past regrets. The energy, thoughts, and actions you could use to forge new pathways and create better relationships get clogged with emotional debris. To clear the pipes and create unimpeded flow in your business life, understand that you always have the power to make new choices. Don’t get stuck in what’s not working; clear the path by refocusing your attention on a new choice or behavior and create powerful, positive change. Whatever you focus on is what you will continue to create in your life. Focusing on regret creates more regret. Focusing on inspiring and life-affirming aspects will help your business relationships heal, grow, and prosper. The phrase “forgive and forget” is commonly used in the emotional letting-go process, but I prefer the phrase, “forgive and learn.” Learn that getting stuck in regret does not move you forward. Learn that business doesn’t stop with a bad decision or a bad relationship. Learn that business, like life, is merely a series of events and you can make a new choice in every moment. New choices always lead to new experiences. Choose to experience that you can always create win-win relationships in every facet of your life. Do Something! IT’S NEVER TOO LATE I loved the work I was able to do with author and counselor John Bradshaw’s teachings, both through reading his books and attending his seminars. One of the things that he and many other mentors taught me is the profound value of doing the work to clear with people who’ve already passed on. Perhaps you didn’t have a wonderful relationship with a parent and didn’t have the chance to clean things up between the two of you and say what you needed to say before that person died. That doesn’t mean you can’t do the work now. Journaling and letter writing are two powerful exercises for expressing thoughts, beliefs, and intentions of the heart. I believe it was Marianne Williamson who taught me that it only takes one person to make the shift in a relationship that got off track. If one person (you) decides to heal and mend a relationship, the other person doesn’t have to participate. In fact, even if the other person decides not to participate, the work you do to make your apologies, forgive that person, forgive yourself, and express your love and gratitude can be all that is required to proclaim, “That relationship is healed. I can now move forward with peace, love, and resolve.”
Walk the talk and wear the talk.
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Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter! |