Social Networking the “Be Nice” Way
Let’s face it: everyone has a bad day now and then. Maybe you break a nail, stub your toe, or encounter a legitimate challenge. A healthy human being can usually confide in one or two close friends or relatives about their bad day. In the Be Nice world, we call those people “bitch buddies.” Sometimes you might need a little extra love and support from people who love and care about you, so you talk to them, too. At the end of the day, though, most of us want to keep our private lives private. Fortunately, we don’t have cameras following us around, documenting our problems and broadcasting them to the world. But if you post every detail of your life on your social networking sites, you might as well have a horde of paparazzi outside your bedroom window.
If I stub my toe or fight with a friend and whine about it on my Internet sites, then I’ve told thousands of “fans” about my bad day, making it thousands of times worse and poisoning their day, too. It’s as if I’ve stubbed my toe and fought with my friend a thousand times over. Have you ever noticed how many people can’t wait to spread somebody else’s negative news? Anything you post can take on a life of its own, and there are plenty of cowards hiding behind usernames and posting malicious messages. Gossip is verbal violence: it can destroy a person or family faster and more viciously than a fire in their home.
In our Be Nice revolution, we coach people to praise in public and reprimand (redirect) in private. The same should hold true on the Internet. Let’s use our social networking sites to build relationships and spread good news. Let’s share our gratitude, good days, and victories. If you’re having a bad day, pick up the phone and call those few people you can trust to keep you safe while giving you good advice and support. Remember the law of attraction: what you put out there comes back to you. What you thought was just an innocent whine is actually poison, bad energy, bad karma (whatever you want to call it) that you choose to put out to the universe, and it will come back to you.
How many people go to bed feeling negative, dumped on, fearful, hopeless, or just plain blah after watching the nightly news or reading through Facebook posts? After reading about all the bad or negative messages you are posting or allowing others to post on your social networking sites, it’s now time to take responsibility. What are you spreading, repeating, amplifying, and putting out there? This planet certainly doesn’t need more fear. The opposite of fear is love, so let’s all use the ideas in this month’s newsletter to spread more love through our social networking.
By the way, keep an eye on me. Check out my Facebook and Twitter and help me to stay on track, because it’s my true intention to use my circle of influence (currently at 6,700 Facebook fans!) to bring a little hope, joy, and laughter to people’s day.
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice.
BE NICE News
Two Georgia Cities Proclaim “Be Nice” Days
In recognition of the “Be Nice” culture described in Winn Claybaugh’s book, Be Nice (Or Else!), two Georgia mayors proclaimed April 12, 2010, as “Be Nice Day.”
In his official proclamation, Roswell Mayor Jere Wood wrote, “I do hereby proclaim April 12, 2010, Be Nice Day and encourage residents, businesses, and community groups to support and participate in these expressions of compassion and kindness.” Alpharetta’s mayor Arthur Letchas and his wife Sally presented their city’s proclamation to Winn Claybaugh personally while he was in Alpharetta to present a Be Nice seminar.
Both proclamations cited the culture of kindness promoted in the book, along with local “Be Nice” events taking place in Roswell and Alpharetta that day, including a Free Hugs day and Winn’s seminar.
“I am so honored,” Winn said. “At the end of the day, I didn’t make up this ‘be nice’ stuff. I’m just a messenger, along with everyone else who has taken on the responsibility, which thankfully includes the mayors of these two wonderful cities.”
Winn Claybaugh Talks on Your Brand Radio
Winn joins Your Brand Radio co-hosts Mark Crowley and David Sandusky. Mark learned about Winn from his daughter, who credits Winn's Be Nice (Or Else!) book and being part of the Paul Mitchell School culture for creating a major shift in her life. Mark said, “Having Winn on the show was one of the highlights of my radio career over the past decade bar none!”
CLICK HERE to hear this very special interview.
A BE NICE Story
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to stories@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
No Regrets Tatto
In Be Nice (Or Else!) I wrote a section called “No Regrets.” I reminded readers that our life’s body of work is about collecting beliefs and emotions, and a life full of regret is certainly not what we desire. I encouraged everyone to make the proclamation: No Regrets.
I recently met a lovely young woman who took this advice to heart and tattooed the proclamation on her shoulder!
Yes, lifetime relationships pose ups and downs, loving and fighting. The key is to let people know you care about them and to constantly nourish your relationships. Then you can sleep soundly at night, knowing that if a loved one were to be taken from you, you would have no regrets.
Monthly Audio Message
At only 25 years old, Alexis Jones has already navigated the beauty industry as a teen model; survived reality TV as a top finalist on Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites; earned a master’s degree in communication from USC; and founded the empowerment company, i am that girl, a leader in creating social change, global awareness, and female empowerment for Generation Y.
Raised with four brothers, Alexis didn’t spend much time with girls until she went to college and joined a sorority. When Alexis and a few of her sorority sisters noticed that a lot of their conversations seemed to be about appearance, weight, and boyfriends, they chose to start talking about things that mattered. Their decision to have conversations with meaning, purpose, and value launched Alexis on the path to becoming an expert on confidence, courage, and accomplishment.
Interviewed by Winn Claybaugh in a powerful and socially aware MASTERS issue, Alexis shares her inspiring message of “Empower Women and Change the World.” Listen in as she talks about the negative messages sent to women, the life-changing lessons she learned by being a Survivor “castaway,” and her personal revolution to redefine beauty.
CLICK HERE to hear this inspirational interview.
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, CLICK HERE to join the thousands of subscribers all over the world and receive MASTERS Audio Club for just $12.95 each month.
The Manuel Family, Founders of LiveLoveBe.com
LiveLoveBe.com was started by a family hoping to change the world through positive thoughts, kindness, and love. Keri and Eric Manuel and their four children Eric, Trevor, Margaret, and Kayla describe themselves as “people who believe that how we think about our lives pretty much affects how they turn out. That living a positive lifestyle is the best way to avoid living a negative one.”
As a family, the Manuels began thinking of ways to spread positivity through their community and the world. The result was LiveLoveBe.com, an informational, inspirational Web site that permeates every major area of life, including work, family, friendships, community, health, and spirit. With heartwarming videos, profiles of real-life heroes, quotes, affirmations, and podcasts, LiveLoveBe celebrates the daily joys of life and offers practical, positive steps toward a happier, healthier life.
Well known and highly respected as educators and speakers, Keri and Eric work with salon and spa owners to help them produce powerful teams and a wonderful workplace atmosphere. The Manuels and their kids run LiveLoveBe from the basement of their home, where they hold daily “huddles” to celebrate their accomplishments and update their goals on a “scoreboard.”
If you want to spend your Internet time in a positive way, visit LiveLoveBe.com.
45% of Employers Use Social Networking Sites to Research Job Candidates
In a June 2009 survey conducted by Harris Interactive for CareerBuilder.com, 45% of employers reported that they use social networking sites to research job candidates. Another 11% reported that they plan to start using social networking sites for screening.
Of those who use the Internet to search for candidates or do background checks, 29% use Facebook, 26% use LinkedIn, and 21% use MySpace. Another 11% search blogs, and 7% follow candidates on Twitter.
As many as 35% of employers reported that they chose not to hire a candidate based on content on the person’s social networking sites. The top reasons included provocative or inappropriate photos or information; content about the person drinking or using drugs; bad-mounting a previous employer, coworker, or client; showing poor communication skills; making discriminatory comments; lying about qualifications; and sharing confidential information from a previous employer.
On the other hand, 18% of employers reported that they found content on social networking sites that caused them to hire the candidate. They cited profiles that gave a good feel for the candidate’s personality and fit; supported the candidate’s qualifications; showed the candidate’s creativity, communication skills, and well-roundedness; or included good references, awards, and accolades.
Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder, recommends the following DOs and DON’Ts to keep a positive image online:
- DO clean up digital dirt before you begin your job search. Remove any photos, content, and links that can work against you in an employer’s eyes.
- DO consider creating your own professional group on sites like Facebook or BrightFuse.com to establish relationships with thought leaders, recruiters, and potential referrals.
- DO keep gripes offline. Keep the content focused on the positive, whether that relates to professional or personal information. Make sure to highlight specific accomplishments inside and outside of work.
- DON’T forget that others can see your friends, so be selective about who you accept as friends. Monitor comments made by others. Consider using the “block comments” feature or setting your profile to “private” so only designated friends can view it.
- DON’T mention your job search if you’re still employed.
Golden Rule #8: Go to the Decision Maker
From Be Nice (Or Else!)
The rapid rise in social networking raises an interesting question: Should you be perfectly honest and be yourself, or should you stick to happy notes and tweets about your wonderful life/school/job?
Many see social networking as a way to connect with friends and family, or to find new friends who share similar interests. However, it’s important to remember that the information you post on your own and others’ social networking sites can be seen, re-posted, and re-tweeted all over the Net, for ever and ever. Your bright (and not-so-bright) comments will be seen months and even years from now by family, friends, employers, potential employers, coworkers, and customers. Bottom line: Think before you post.
In this wonderful communication age, there’s a very old saying that still applies: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. While you might be dying to tell your network about the awful thing your ex-boyfriend said, or the “tacky” outfit your coworker wore, take a minute to think about your post from a different perspective. Maybe you didn’t know that your coworker recently lost a loved one, or is struggling with some huge life challenge at home, or suffers from insecurity, and you’ve just added to it with your unkind message. What will prospective employers think when they see you bad-mouthing a coworker or swearing like a truck driver? As this month’s Corporate Corner indicates, posts like those could keep you from landing your dream job.
In Be Nice (Or Else!) I shared the Golden Rules we created for my company. Golden Rule #8 says: “Go to the decision maker with any apparently unsolvable challenges.” Have you ever noticed that when someone has a problem, they’ll tell everyone but the person who could actually do something about it? If you have a problem at work, don’t waste your “woe is me” dribble on someone who can do nothing to resolve it. Instead, respect your company’s line of authority and communication systems, decide who the decision maker is, and take your challenge directly to that person. To take it to anyone else is gossip, plain and simple, but following Golden Rule #8 will help you avoid unnecessary drama in the real world and in cyberspace.
Quote of the Month
“If you have something that you don’t want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.”
Eric Schmidt, Google CEO
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2009 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink