|
|
Parents and Parenting to Create Great Leaders
Hi Everyone,
 As you may know, I spend about 250 days a year on the road. In more than 20 years as a speaker, I can count on two fingers the number of times I’ve canceled a seminar. In February, while finishing an event in Phoenix, I received word that my 83-year-old dad had been rushed to the hospital and was told, “You’d better come now.” I jumped on the first available flight and subsequently canceled an upcoming speaking tour. Fortunately, Dad was released from the hospital a few days later.
I knew I had made the right decision but I still felt guilty about canceling the tour. Then I received a beautiful e-mail from one of the seminar hosts. Jeneanne wrote: “After I saw you speak in Las Vegas last year, it really hit home about staying in close contact with our parents. I made it a point to call my dad as soon as I got home. We had a great conversation, and unfortunately that was the last time we spoke. He died suddenly the next week. Thank you, Winn, for all the messages you send that really make a difference to us all! We are sending that positive energy right back to you.”
That loving message was all I needed, and my guilt for canceling was gone. Knowing that I had inspired someone to be a good daughter and that I, too, had chosen well to be a good son just warmed my heart.
 I’m not a parent but I love the idea of using my influence to be “parental” and to mentor others—to create a safe place for people to feel loved and taken care of—just as my parents did for me. In honor of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, this issue features several amazing people who use their knowledge, skill, and wisdom to parent and mentor our future leaders and help make their world a better place.
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice.
XOXO, Winn
A BE NICE Story
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to editor@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
This month’s stories came from two moms who are taking the BE NICE message seriously and sharing it with their families.
 Dear Winn,
Today I started off on the wrong foot. Everything was going wrong, but coincidentally on my way out the door, I found my CD copy of Be Nice (Or Else!) that I had bought about three years ago. I was excited and decided to take it with me in my car and listen to it again. My kids weren’t happy that I shut off the music, but within five minutes they were glued to the stereo. I was impressed!
As I dropped them all off, my kids asked if we could listen to the CD again when I picked them up. They wanted to listen to “the excited man on the CD because he teaches people that they should be nice, but shouldn’t everyone just know that they should be nice, Mom?” I laughed and agreed! I finished listening to the CD on my way to work and had such a turnaround to my “damaged” morning. I decided to look at the positive and have a great day. I had not listened to that CD in about three years, but prior to that I had listened to it about 20 times. Even after 21 times, I still learned something new. Be Nice (Or Else!) is brilliant and I am having a wonderful day!
Anna Raygo
Peshtigo, Wisconsin
Dear Winn,
Be Nice (Or Else!) has made me take a hard look at myself and how I treat others. Whenever I get in one of my moods, I like everyone to know that I’m the queen of my home and what I say goes. I’m not done reading your book but I thought about what I’ve read and reflected on how my husband and daughters feel about being reminded of who’s in charge. I thought about how stubborn and harsh I tend to come across to my own family. Your book motivated me to reflect on their personal feelings (feelings they probably hide from me), listen to their feedback, and use it to accomplish my goals while leaving others with their self-respect and dignity intact. So I called a family meeting and asked my family members to assist me in being a nicer mother and wife.
I’m extremely happy with the knowledge you share along with the personal stories. I truly appreciate the down-to-earth approach you take and find myself laughing out loud. Thanks so much for being so kind—oops, I mean for being so NICE!
Bonnie Bolden
San Diego, California
BE NICE News
Paul Mitchell Schools Put the “Fun” in Fundraising
For the sixth consecutive year, amidst a belt-tightening recession, Paul Mitchell Schools spent the months of February, March, and April raising money for their annual Magic of Memories campaign. Future Professionals and Learning Leaders at schools across the country held a variety of fundraising events for seven selected charities, raising a total of $939,906.
This year’s total surpassed all previous records and brought the six-year total to nearly $3.4 million. The funds will be distributed to the Andrew Gomez Dream Foundation, the Leeza Gibbons Memory Foundation, the Larry King Cardiac Foundation, Cancer Schmancer, the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, Food 4 Africa, and City of Hope.
The annual fundraiser culminated in a gala dinner hosted by celebrities and representatives from the chosen organizations: radio and TV personality Leeza Gibbons, Paul Mitchell CEO/Cofounder John Paul DeJoria, Paul Mitchell Co-owner Angus Mitchell, actress and cancer prevention crusader Fran Drescher, and CNN’s Larry King and wife/chairperson Shawn King of the Larry King Cardiac Foundation.
A packed audience cheered as the top ten Paul Mitchell fundraising schools were announced by Paul Mitchell Schools Dean and Cofounder Winn Claybaugh and the celebrity hosts. “You have directly touched the lives of so many through your incredible fundraising and your unstoppable commitment to giving back,” Leeza Gibbons told the audience. “We can never thank you enough.”
 “I am so proud to have the Larry King Cardiac Foundation associated with the incredible efforts made by the future professionals at the Paul Mitchell Schools,” said Larry King. “Their enthusiasm and true passion to help others comes through not only in the work they do on a daily basis but also in their efforts to help others.”
“In the midst of a major recession, these fine women and men banded together and raised an enormous amount of money for charities,” Fran Drescher added. “If only every company in corporate America could be so philanthropic while having so much fun.”
Rather than seeking huge corporate donations, Paul Mitchell Future Professionals raised most of the money through grassroots events like cut-a-thons, fashion shows, bake sales, and raffles, with donations averaging $5–10.
Monthly Audio Message
Rachel Burney
When asked as a young girl what she wanted to be when she grew up, Rachel Burney always replied, “A hairstylist. I want to make other girls feel their best and most beautiful.” Growing up in her grandfather’s salon only heightened Rachel’s desire, and her talent and passion followed her through a swimming career, college, and every other passion and hobby she took up.
During a dark, hopeless time as a 15-year-old teen, Rachel received an ultimatum: Volunteer in Africa or head for military school. Reluctantly, she chose the trip to Africa. “Though I went in an attempt to give to others, the love I received from these beautiful people saved my life and changed my path forever,” Rachel says.
For the past six years Rachel has traveled all over Africa, working with multiple nongovernmental organizations to address the needs of those living with HIV/AIDS. In 2007, she took a year off from her beauty school education to travel the United States on behalf of Invisible Children, an organization dedicated to spreading information about the plight of Northern Uganda.
Soon after graduating from beauty school, and still torn between two destinies—working in Africa and doing hair—Rachel joined a small group of stylists in the nonprofit Sisters of Rwanda, an organization that hopes to assist abused, impoverished, and oppressed women with the unfolding dream of opening a hairdressing school.
CLICK HERE to learn more about Rachel’s incredible journey and how every one of us can take steps today to make a difference in the world.
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, you’ll love our MASTERS Audio Club. CLICK HERE for more information.
People Profile
Loni Gamble
 Philadelphia-born Loni Gamble began his musical career as a band member with the Grammy-nominated Stylistics. Later, as a solo artist, his hit single “Could It Be Love” made the Top 5 lists in seven countries in Europe and Canada. Today, Loni is the founder, president, and CEO of Loni Gam Music Productions and Gam Jam Entertainment. His band, Loni Gamble and Sound Cheque, plays the corporate, county fair, and municipal festival circuits and has opened for the Temptations and other top artists. The Williamsport-based band is also known for performing benefit concerts for civic and charitable organizations. In 1991, when the Ku Klux Klan planned a rally in Williamsport, Loni chaired a committee that planned a concert for the same day, to counteract divisiveness and lessen the threat of violence. The rally never took place and the Unity Day concert continued as an annual event, with Loni as chairperson since its inception.
 In 2002, Loni founded the Community Alliance for Progressive Positive Action (CAPPA), an intervention program that motivates, engages, and supports the development of Williamsport’s youth. Initially started as a summer basketball program to keep African American boys away from gangs, the award-winning program now includes a youth empowerment workshop series, academic enrichment programs, and performing arts opportunities.
“CAPPA has done wonders to bring together a community that was torn by gangs and violence,” says parent Daryle Walton. “As a single dad, it means that my kids can be part of something that I know is not only going to teach them great values, but keep their interest with a variety of programs. which is a tremendous aid in keeping them away from the influences of the streets. I have help in raising my two children, an 11-year-old boy and a 9-year-old girl. . . . And this was all because Mr. Gamble wanted to be nice.”
Visit www.cappaproject.org for more information.
Corporate Corner
Gathering Guidelines
In any organization, staff meetings must be pleasurable experiences. No matter how much you threaten people to attend, they won’t show up if your staff meetings are painful. And why would they? No one likes to experience pain.
To make your staff meetings fun, try implementing the Gathering Guidelines:
- Sit in a circle.
- There are no “problems”—only “challenges” and “opportunities.”
- There’s no such thing as a “complaint”—only “suggestions” with at least two solutions.
- There are no dumb questions, dumb answers, or dumb ideas.
- Criticizing, teasing, put-downs, and sarcasm are the only taboos.
- It’s okay to say, “I don’t know,” or “I changed my mind.”
- If you don’t agree, say so and explain your thoughts.
- It’s good to have a mind of your own—use it only when it matters.
- Keep asking until you really understand.
- Failure is not fatal.
Let’s take a closer look at number 3. Make it part of your company culture that there’s no such thing as a complaint. People can make suggestions, but the second part of every suggestion must be a solution. Make it a policy that no one can even voice a suggestion unless they’ve already thought of at least two solutions.
I learned this one from my mother. With eight kids in the family, my mother would often say, “I’m not the complaint department around here. You come back with two solutions, and then we can talk.” As little children, we’d pout and stomp off. But what did we go off to do? Find solutions! My mother taught us at an early age, If it’s to be, it’s up to me. Yet there are grown adults who still haven’t learned that lesson. They think their job is to find problems and dump them onto others to resolve. Make your culture a place where people learn to become solution oriented.
CLICK HERE to download an expanded version of the Gathering Guidelines in a printable PDF format.
|
Do Something!
Send Love Notes to Your Parents, Mentors, and Role Models
 John McCormack, author of Self-Made in America and Inc. magazine’s 1988 Entrepreneur of the Year, heads up the highly successful Visible Changes hair salon chain with his wife Maryanne. This busy author and chief executive still takes time to send handwritten thank-you notes to his customers. When their son joined the company, he questioned his dad’s insistence on handwritten notes, so they agreed to an experiment: the son wrote some notes by hand and typed out some others. Without fail, he received tremendous feedback about the handwritten notes. He even got thank-you notes for his thank-you notes! One customer commented that it was the first handwritten note he’d ever received from a company.
Thank you notes and “love notes” are a great way to recognize and acknowledge parents, mentors, and role models, as well as business associates, family, and friends. I can honestly say that I send out at least one “love note” per week. These notes say more than just “Thank you for your business” or “Thank you for dinner.” They might also include a mention of something lovely that was shared in conversation in the course of the meeting or dinner. Your love note could include reminiscing about an endearing or pivotal experience in your relationship with that person. Here’s a brief example:
I’ll never forget your lovely words of encouragement many years ago after I got fired from that horrible job. You captured my heart then, and you continue to capture my friendship every time I’m with you.
I save many of the love notes I’ve received from my friends and associates. I constantly carry a couple of them around with me in my planner, and I read them often, until they’re replaced with a more recent note.
If you really want to acknowledge someone, love notes are a great place to start.
Quote of the Month
“In raising my children, I have lost my mind but found my soul.”
— Lisa T. Shepherd
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2009 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink
|
|
