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HOW TO BE NICE TO THE ELDERLY
 Hi Everyone,
One of my favorite TV shows is The Golden Girls. I watch it almost every day, and I was truly sad to hear about the death of one of its stars, Estelle Getty. In the 1970s there was another show I liked called Mork and Mindy. Mork, an alien from another planet, lived on Earth with Mindy to learn about earthlings. At the end of each episode, Mork contacted his planet and reported back to his commanding officer. At the end of one episode, Mork’s message went something like this: It’s very strange that people here on Earth value most anything that is old—old wine, furniture, paintings, and so on. The one old thing they don’t value is old people.
I’ve grown to love and appreciate elderly people. I could choose to recognize what most people dwell on: their negative, crotchety character traits (which, by the way, also exist in young people). However, I find elderly people to be cute, funny, wise, and grateful, and they possess the best manners. That’s what I choose to see, so my experience with the elderly is always filled with joy and respect.
Okay, so old people might move and drive more slowly. So do you and I, on occasion. To show my love and respect for the elderly, and to harness my rude, impatient self when I’m stuck behind a slow-driving senior, I pretend she’s my mother or grandmother. I would never lose patience with or honk at my own mother or grandmother, and I wouldn’t want strangers to lose their patience and honk at them, either.
Just remember that the universe has eyes. Your own self-love and confidence are undeniably tied to what you put out there. Honking at an old lady to get her out of your way may help you arrive at your destination five minutes sooner, but the devastation you inflict on her will set you back in ways you can’t comprehend. To truly be nice in the world, let’s love, honor, and respect our elderly. After all, we’re all on our way there someday, too.
 This edition is dedicated to all the wonderful, valuable, vibrant seniors in our world—people like my parents, who continue to be two of my best mentors in life. I hope this newsletter inspires you to think about and appreciate the wonderful seniors in your life and in your community.
Thanks for helping me live my fantasy of spreading this BE NICE message and giving nice people a voice.
XOXO, Winn
A BE NICE Story
Shirley James
Do you have a BE NICE story to share? Send it to editor@BeNiceOrElse.com. If it appears in the newsletter, you’ll receive a BE NICE T-shirt and CD!
 Raised in an alcoholic environment, Shirley James spent 35 years as an alcoholic before sobering up over two decades ago. After retiring from a 40-year beauty industry career, she had just opened her own real estate office when she felt called to open My Sister’s and Brother’s House, a Christian rehab facility for drug and alcohol abusers and the victims of domestic violence, divorce, and homelessness. “I just obeyed and God brought things together day by day,” she says.
Between her two careers, Shirley logs about 70–100 hours a week. Her day starts early, teaching 7 a.m. classes on hygiene, makeup, and hairstyling so her students can present themselves well and build self-esteem. “It’s more than just a treatment for drugs and alcohol,” says Shirley’s daughter Jody Shinn. “It’s a treatment of well-being. Any time someone needs to talk, she’s there.”
“I’m able to help bring persons off the street as well as persons who are incarcerated and sometimes getting released from prison early,” Shirley says. Each student follows a curriculum that includes a 12-step program, anger management courses, group counseling, GED or college classes, and Winn Claybaugh’s book Be Nice (Or Else!). “We give all of our students Be Nice (Or Else!) and all of them read it,” Shirley says. “Winn donated the books; we did not have money to buy them.”
Shirley proudly describes her many success stories. One woman, “Little Miss L” started stealing her grandfather’s medicine at age 10 and soon became an addict. “If I saw her on the street, I would talk with her and pray with her,” Shirley recalls. “About two years ago, she was in jail on drugs and no one would come and see her. She was with me 16 months. Within seven classes of graduation she blew it and was terminated. After almost a year she now is coming back to help with the program and give back as well. She is ready to go to college, free of drugs, and ready to face life with vision, hope, plans, and dreams.”
My Sister’s and Brother’s House operates strictly through donations, which can be sent to P.O. Box 588, Lincoln, AL 35096. Visit www.ajodyshinnsalon.com for more information.
BE NICE News
LifeHeroes.org Promotes the BE NICE Message
 The BE NICE movement just keeps growing! A new Web site, www.lifeheroes.org, includes a “Be Nice or Else” discussion group based on Be Nice (Or Else!) by Winn Claybaugh. The site’s “Life Heroes Spotlight” features an article about Winn, his Paul Mitchell Schools, and the schools’ annual Magic of Memories fundraising campaign, which has raised over $2.5 million for various charitable organizations.
Life Heroes is an online community of creative artists and people using their talents to make the world better. The site recognizes celebrity, business, community, technology, and health and fitness heroes. It includes discussion groups, blogs, videos, audio interviews, an event calendar, and much more.
To listen in to an exclusive interview with Winn Claybaugh go to www.lifeheroes.org (Be sure to click on the link in the main audio box entitled: 2. - Be Nice or Else – Winn Claybaugh Interview.)
Monthly Audio Message
Vidal Sassoon
 Legendary hairdresser and philanthropist Vidal Sassoon retired more than 20 years ago but he continues to use his hands, heart, and voice to make a difference in the world. In the wake of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, it was 80-year-old Sassoon who rallied beauty industry leaders to aid the victims with the gift of new homes through Habitat for Humanity.
 Soon after the hurricanes, Sassoon donated $100,000 to build two new homes for Jessica Silve, a single mother with six children, and Stephen and Alicia Hendrix, who had been living in a FEMA trailer park with their two sons. Vidal then joined forces with Mary Rector-Gable, founder of BehindTheChair.com, to co-found Hairdressers Unlocking Hope. To date, the organization has raised over $1.7 million toward its goal of building an entire village of homes in the devastated region.
Vidal had learned early in life how it felt to be homeless. During the Depression, when he was three years old, his father left and never came back. Evicted from their home, Vidal, his mother, and his 6-month-old brother moved in with an aunt, where they slept on mattresses on her overcrowded floor. Eventually his mother was forced to place both boys in an orphanage, where they lived for six years before being evacuated to the country when World War II broke out. After the war, the reunited Sassoon family was among the lucky ones: they were given a home by the English government.
 “Some people would expect someone his age to head off into retirement, but Vidal is still using his name, his energy, and his youthfulness to make a difference,” says Winn Claybaugh. “He could be sitting back on his laurels, but instead he’s out building houses and spurring the entire beauty industry to join him. I chose to take him up on his offer and rallied my Paul Mitchell Schools company to raise $175,000 to build two homes. When Vidal asks, my answer is yes!”
CLICK HERE to listen in as Vidal Sassoon talks about his childhood, his inspirations, and his passion for rallying the beauty industry to rebuild homes in the Gulf Coast region.
If you enjoyed this month’s audio message, you’ll love our MASTERS Audio Club. CLICK HERE for more information.
People Profile
Estelle Getty (1923-2008)
Estelle Getty, who played sarcastic octogenarian Sophia Petrillo on TV’s The Golden Girls from 1985 to 1992, has died at the age of 84.
The story of four retired women sharing a house in Miami Beach, The Golden Girls was the first American sitcom to boast an all-female starring cast. Tackling taboo subjects like compulsive gambling, homosexuality, and infidelity, the show shattered the prevailing stereotypes about aging. It was one of the first shows to portray older people as intelligent, interesting, vibrant, sexy individuals who still have hopes, concerns, humor, and passion. The show was named number-one new series in its first season of syndication and it consistently ranked among TV’s top 10 series. Nominated for 57 Emmy Awards, including Best Comedy Series each year, The Golden Girls won 10 Emmys, three Golden Globes, and countless other honors.
Unlike the show, Estelle’s career took a slower route to the top. Born Estelle Scher in New York in 1923, she sang, danced, and acted as a child. After high school, she worked as a stand-up comedian in summer resorts and acted in Yiddish theatre. Estelle married Arthur Gettleman in 1947, had two sons, and worked at low-paying office jobs to help support the family while trying to make it on stage. Her big break came in 1981 with a role in Torch Song Trilogy. After moving to Los Angeles for the play’s West Coast production, Estelle landed small parts in movies (including Tootsie, 1982; Mask, 1985; and Copacabana, 1985) before winning the role of Sophia at age 62.
The Golden Girls is often credited with helping to change Hollywood’s stereotyping of older people. In her autobiography, Estelle wrote, “If watching Sophia reminds people that they can still be vital, vociferous, and vigorous, then I’m all for it.”
In addition to her career, Estelle was involved in many causes, particularly AIDS, and was a spokesperson for Alternative Living for the Aging, a nonprofit organization that locates cooperative housing for seniors. She retired from show business in 2000 due to an illness.
 “Estelle’s character, Sophia, was my favorite character on The Golden Girls,” said Winn Claybaugh. “She brought me so much joy and laughter for many, many years. It was a favorite late-night pastime for my mother and me to watch the show together. We consider it a special fun activity between the two of us.”
Corporate Corner
How Does Your Company Treat Older Employees?
How does your business, company, or organization treat people who reach ages 60, 70, or above? Are they viewed as valuable contributors with a lot to offer? Are they appreciated for their knowledge, wisdom, and experience? Or are they automatically assumed to be washed up, disposable, and useless simply because they’ve celebrated “too many” birthdays?
Close your eyes for a moment and picture a 70- or 80-year-old woman or man. If you didn’t see a vibrant, dynamic, charismatic, passionate, successful individual, please consider the following.
 With sales of more than 180 million records and more concert ticket sales than any solo performer in history, 69-year-old Tina Turner has been acknowledged as the most successful female rock artist of all time. Her 2000 Twenty Four Seven tour was the highest grossing tour of the year and the fifth biggest grossing tour in American history.
 At age 77, Nelson Mandela became South Africa’s oldest elected president, a position he held until he retired in 1999 at age 81. In 2007, on his 89th birthday, Mandela announced the formation of the Elders, a group of world leaders whose founding members include Jimmy Carter (now age 84) and Desmond Tutu (now age 77).
 In 2005, 75-year-old Sister Madonna Buder became the oldest woman to complete the grueling Hawaii Ironman triathlon. A year later, she again became the oldest woman to complete the race. Sister Madonna started running at age 49 and raised money for various charities throughout her athletic career.
 World-class athlete Don Wildman, founder of Health and Tennis Corporation of America (now known as Bally Total Fitness), retired in 1994 at age 61 to make more time for snowboarding. Now 75, he routinely trains with world-class athletes like tennis superstar John McEnroe, surfer Sonny Miller, and Tim Commerford of Rage Against the Machine. In recent years Wildman has competed in nine Ironman Triathlons, the 3,000-mile Race Across America bike race, the Aspen downhill ski race, and the New York and L.A. marathons.
 Celebrated surfer Dorian “Doc” Paskowitz, founder of the Paskowitz Surf Camps, made international news when he crossed the border into Gaza to donate 12 surfboards to Palestinian surfers. The 87-year-old author of Surfing and Health founded Surfing for Peace, an organization dedicated to bringing Palestinians and Israelis together through the common bond of surfing.
Can your organization afford to miss out on that kind of talent?
Do Something!
Spend Time with the Elderly
Spending time with elderly people can be so rewarding for you and them. Tasks and activities that you can do easily may be quite challenging or difficult for an elderly individual. The Volunteer Family (www.volunteerfamily.org) offers many wonderful ideas for helping the elderly:
- Be a friendly visitor or adopt a grandparent.
- Have a talent show, puppet show, play, or musical program for residents at a nursing home.
- Look at pictures and share funny stories. Record or write down stories and memories about their lives.
- Make emergency storm packs for elderly in times of need.
- Organize a bingo evening or barbecue.
- Plant flowers or perform seasonal yard work including weeding, mowing lawns, raking leaves, and shoveling snow for nursing homes.
- Give manicures and pedicures.
- Make decorations such as tissue paper or construction paper flowers to brighten up a room or attach to wheelchairs or beds.
- Clip coupons for seniors. Often they are on a tight budget.
- Label pictures to preserve memories of people and places (using acid-free materials).
- Send cards or letters to a special older friend.
- Play board games with nursing home residents.
- Read to them or write letters or e-mail for them.
- Help them run errands or get to medical appointments.
- Conduct small home repairs.
- Make lap blankets.
- Bring your pet to visit.
- Make a cake and bring a card on their birthdays.
- Volunteer with an organization that serves the elderly, such as Meals on Wheels (www.mowaa.org) or the Volunteer Family (www.volunteerfamily.org).
Quotes of the Month
“The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.”
— Andy Rooney
“The elderly don’t drive that badly; they’re just the only ones with time to do the speed limit.”
— Jason Love
Winn Claybaugh’s Be Nice (Or Else!) The Newsletter!
Copyright © 2008 by Winn Claybaugh. All rights reserved.
Editor: Gail Fink
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